Things That Rule.

Good evening Valley, glad to be back in your presence. Tonight I'm going to acknowledge a few things that totally rule. No specific order or pattern, just kick butt stuff. First though, I want to get to a few administrative items.
--Remember way back when I went on that date to the Annie musical? and how I was not sure if she was into me or not?? Well, nothing came of it and it turns out she just wasn't too randy. So, good move by me to not go for the full kiss. I figured I owed it to the Valley to follow up on that. One side note, she totally commented on my facebook status the other day, so I know she's not forgotten about me...
--Next, St. Patty's day in Chicago was a blast. Shot out to the whole crew who made it a great day, and a BIG shot out to Kristi and Karolyn for hooking your boy up with the hottest facebook profile pic this side of the Mississippi...or the other side, really. I was able to hold down the green beer and not have too bad a hangover either. Solid weekend.
--How do my Final Four picks look through the first two rounds? The answer is "great".
--Please EVERYBODY remember to put their mock drafts together for the "NFL Draft Pick'em" that we're doing here at the KValley Report. The winner will get to write an entry in the Report about whatever they want...within reason.

Those items were brought to you by the YMCA...go there, don't be fat.

What Rules?
I'll tell you some things that rule, listen up:

1. Paulina Meat Market/Real Beef Jerky
The Paulina Meat Market http://www.paulinameatmarket.com/ is not only an old neighborhood staple for me personally, but it is nationally known for ruling. it's been on the food network, written up in mags all over, and for good reason. They have tons of awesome stuff there, but if you could taste their Cajun beef jerky, you would know what I mean. This is no BP gas station style beef jerky, this is real cured slab of beef that you ask them to slice up for you. It is simply tantalizing. It's spicy, but soft, and not oily like a "Slim Jim" so snap out of that junk and holler at the meat market. Yes they ship. I go there every time I'm back, and I will be ordering some more because I'm almost out....although not of my malted milk balls or gummi bears!!!!! Beef jerky, overall, is pretty good stuff, but this is the Aston Martin of beef jerky, if you will. in fact, I'm munching on some right now!!!!

2. Saturdays
Honestly, who doesn't LOVE Saturdays? You can just click that X at the top right of your computer screen if you don't like Saturdays, because you have no business reading any further. No work, happy about the night before when you met a hottie at happy hour, then you partied all night and totally made out at the bar. Sleeping in because obviously, there's no work (for non service industry people) and you know there's no work the next day either!! College football, College basketball, parties, friends meeting up...I mean DANG, I love Saturdays!! Food tastes better on Saturday, Templeton's Rye Whisky tastes better on Saturday, girls look cuter on Saturday, and my friends are way more fun than they usually are on Saturday. Big shot out to Saturdays...


3.



Ummm yeah, that rules!!!!! Big shot out to little buddy who took it on the dome in that video, he has made me laugh about 25 times...

4. DVR
I heart DVR. That's all there is too it. It's as addicting as combining cigarettes and the Internet. I mean, once you have DVR, going back is basically not an option. I'm to the point I don't really even know when some shows are on anymore cuz i know i can just punch it up on DVR. Kind of like how I can still remember Missy Klinger's phone number from when I was in 6th grade, but I have no clue what all my best friends' current phone numbers are. Why is that? Cell phone memory is the clear answer. Same concept, but would you rather not have it?? No way Jose. I mean I'm DVR'ing right now, it's literally just part of life at this point. When you don't even think about something but it is used everyday, that's when you know something rules.

5. College Football
I love football, football is (will be) my life. I played college football and there was never a time I enjoyed more in my life than those 5 years. I don't think there's anything like college football. Yes, at the D1 A level there is no playoff and it's a complete sham to decide the national championship, but I'm not really concentrating on that---It's the Atmosphere every Saturday on campus. It's the camaraderie between 100 totally different guys coming together to play the greatest sport on earth. It's the smell of the grass, or the smell of the field turf. It's school fight songs, it's tailgating, and it's cheering for your boys. It's competing, it's getting smashed and getting up, and it's winning...and losing sometimes. It's small stadiums with fans standing all along the endzones, and it's enormous, breath taking stadiums that fit more people than 3 of my home towns. It's knowing the fans are going crazy when you're scoring a TD, but not being able to hear them. It's the respect teams and fans of either school show an injured athlete, when the game collides with life and it just makes sense. It's stepping foot on the field you grew up dreaming to play on, and it's knowing you belong. It's the reason friends get together, laugh, eat, and drink during the greatest Day of the week. It's where 5'10, 175 lbs. may mean as much as 6'6 330 lbs. It's hugging your dirty, beaten, bloodied teammates knowing they're thinking the same things you are without ever saying it. It's taking your girlfriend to a game, and knowing she'll enjoy it, it's going to a game with your boys and knowing your girlfriend won't care. It's nachos, hot dogs, and peanuts. It's the after party when your teams wins. It's knowing on the field that you represent a lot more than yourself and it's seeing your friends and family after the game, knowing you represented them like you were supposed to...It's the feeling I have right now even thinking about it all.................feel me?

I've got some love for you Valley, listen up:

"Yo girl, you shining like a brand new spanking black glock, or 1000 hundred dollar bills inside a shoe box. Exotic bird, blend of selected fine herbs, make me wanna kick my old chick to the curb. Shaped like a naked statue, but look sacred...like candy to a baby, I'm ready to take it. Just spread your wings like a peacock, girl you be the BOMB and Bobby be shell shocked......Love Jones, I got a love jones, I got a love jones......for you" RZA, Love Jones

oooooo--eeeeee, now that is some sweet, smooth loving for the Valley right there.....

Out like Lance Armstrong, fall down go boom.
McQuillan

For any ideas, thoughts, or just sweet smooth non-sense, hit me up at kvalleyreport@gmail.com. And remember to get your NFL Draft selections ready and sent there too...1