Reporting the facts...well, my facts...

Tommie Update:
UST is 1-0 as we opened our season with a 54-14 win over Macalester. Now, this is not a gauge of much as Macalester is not looking to have a strong season. But, man was it nice to get out there and beat up on someone other than ourselves. We had great special teams, including 2 punt returns for TD's in the first quarter. We put some drives together on offense, but all in all it was a bit sloppy. Nice to get that game out of our system, and of course, get a win. We had a bye last weekend, but this weekend we crank it up again with our home opener against St. Olaf. Olaf look pretty tough, and return some good players. They did have to travel out west to Washington for a game last week, so that may be an advantage for us. We had the week off, which was an advantage from a preparation standpoint, but it's also nice to get game action under your belt. We will see how we handle it all come Saturday. We did lose one of our starting inside LB's with a broken leg, so that will hurt, but we have depth and some studs to jump in there and take care of business. Other than that, we are pretty darn healthy and looking forward to Saturday. As of today we are nationally ranked #18 in Division 3. It's not something we really look at, since we haven't really done much yet, but we could be in the midst of a special season, so if you're in the Twin Cities metro area, come swing by for a game. Should be a great atmosphere out there Saturday, treat yourself to some college football and Go Toms!!

Florida State:
Well, I don't have much to say about this. If you wanted to compare my current relationship with FSU, this similie would suffice:

My relationship with FSU is like when you're fighting with a sibling. You feel like you really hate them and you want to sabotage anything cool they have around the house, or anything with any of his/her friends. You kind of feel like you want to put Vaseline around the toilet seat right before they sit down, or perhaps the rubber band around the kitchen sink hose, trick. You could end up making mom a bit mad with either of these, but but you know what I'm saying. BUT, in the end, you know you love them, and that you would defend them no matter what. Like, you can say stuff about your sister, but don't let you catch someone else saying some mess about her.....

I hope that made sense, because I'm frustrated with my Seminoles. They had offense for the first time in 5 years, and all of a sudden, no defense. What?? A Florida State team with no pass rush or a complete inability to cover anyone running down the field? I think one point illustrates the problems FSU may have on D this year: At one point, I looked on the field and there is a white dude starting at Defensive End, for Florida State, D-End U. I'm not racist against white people, after all...I am one. I just understand that if you're playing D-End at FSU, you are not usually white, and it has a bit to do with freakish athletic skills. We don't have those that much. And if we did, there would have been more than 1 white D-End at FSU in the last 20 years.....
Along with the normal choke against Miami, in another awfully exciting debacle, I just decided that I'm fighting with them. And I haven't even gotten to the AWFUL display they put on against D-1AA Jacksonville State last weekend. Good gracious, I'm done talking about this. FSU and I are fighting, that's all you have to know. We'll get over it together, i'm sure, like right after they pound on the Mormons out at BYU this weekend..................

NFL
So, as a football coach, my Sunday's are kind of full. No more NFL for the most part for me. That's kind of a bummer, but after watching my Fantasy team score 29 points for me, while 4 starters on my bench combined for 66....I think I'm pretty much over it. Or, I'm fighting with the NFL too, while I'm in that mood, haha.

One thing that is awesome about yesterday was that run that Adrian Peterson had against the Browns. I don't have much to say, except watch this freak-a-zoid manhandle people while he's running a 4.3 down the sideline.




...Oh yeah, he's not white either, FYI. I mean seriously, he stiff armed or threw 3 different dudes off of him while running a 70 yard TD. All the dudes on the field are PROS!!!! I mean this dude is a superfreak...superfreak! On that note....



Haha, love it!

Can you believe it?? I talked about the Vikings and not about Brett Favre yet?? Yeah, and before I do, I'm going to talk about my main man Darius Reynaud. I love this football player. I loved him at West Virginia, I loved it when we signed him, and I loved it when we didn't cut him. I think he is a GREAT extra WR to have. He is a super athlete even though short in stature at about 5'9. He was a great special teamer and he's doing that now for us too. I mean this is a guy who is great for about every team, and I'm stoked we have him and that he's finally our Starting pun returner. I hope we can get him on the field elsewhere too. Love him.

Sincerely,
Darius Reynaud's #1 fan

Okay, it was nice to see Favre get a bit of rhythm as well, and Percy Harvin is a stud. I think it could be a good season for the Vikes, I will look forward to seeing highlights....until after the Tommies win a National Title in approx. mid December, ah thank you.

Other tidbits:
-Brian Urlacher out for the season...I hate to see a guy go down, no matter what team he plays for. But I sure do dislike the Chicago Bears. I'm not unhappy that their season has taken a turn for poo, but I wish Urlacher a speedy and full recovery. Like how I walked the line there???

-Gophers opened up their new, very awesome, stadium....with TERRIBLE uniforms, and an ugly display of football. Granted Air Force will do that to you, but they were not very good and I have a feeling that squeaking by Syracuse and Air Force is a sign of rough times to come. Starting this weekend when Cal comes to town...yikes. I hope for great things from them, but I'm skeptical at best, currently.

-I'm watching the Bills/Patriots game right now and I LOVE the throwbacks, now that's how you wear a uniform!!

-Had a good time wishing Erik Ferden, aka "Big Perm" a happy birthday this weekend. Erik, I hope your year of 32 is totally groovy...

-I recently found out my sister was spending time at the US Open Tennis Tournament, then went right to the Hamptons, and then took a trip out to Vegas 3 days later....I didn't do any of that.

-As of today I am again a college student. As of my first financial aid refund, I will again have a meal plan at the caf...bet that up.

-I met a girl recently, she is awesome, and that is awesome, will update at a later date.

-How in the world did my blog jump up like 8,000+ hits since my last entry??? Way to crank it Valley!!! I still thinking something fishy is going on, but keep pumping up the volume Valley, I love it!

-I know the posts are getting a little less often, but I'm literally at work 13-15 hours a day so I apologize guys, If you guys have any ideas, or thoughts, feel free to let me know, like always.

Talk to you fools later, and remember: The KValley Report, where trouble melts like lemon drops.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a Valley that I've heard of, once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, sky's are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are for behind me...."

Out like Da Bears...
McQuillan

What time is is? GAME TIME!!!

Valley, I know it has been way too long AGAIN since we've crossed paths, but for the last two weeks I've been putting in 15 hour days and some sleep overs in the dorms getting our boys ready to whip some butt. Tomorrow is our Macalester walk through and on Saturday we head up the street to Mac for our first game. This post will be dedicated to The UST football team and the upcoming college football season in general. Thank the Heavens that football is back!!!

We've received some preseason love in a few of the D3 polls, and now it's time we prove that we are worthy. I'm very excited to be back to work on college football Saturdays. Granted I do still wish I could play, this is a close second. Feel free to keep up with us at: http://www.tommiesports.com/ftbl/

You can find our schedule and updates on how the season is going and you will in turn see what I'm doing with my time. Come by for a game, i promise you won't be upset. It's a great college environment and a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. And an additional note, right behind the field is the construction of a brand new $56 million dollar athletic building. Yep, $56 million. It will be the premier Division 3 complex ever built. The specs of this thing are outrageous. Our new football locker room will be approx 5,000 sq. ft., the weight room is approx 10,000 sq. ft., new pool, track, basketball arena, coaches offices...etc. I mean this thing is "baller" status, for real. I look forward to seeing everyone on campus at some games!!

WINONA STATE:
A big shot out to WSU football!! They had a huge win last Thursday at home against #10 Carson Newman out of TN. We were in camp so I couldn't make the game, but we watched the play by play online.

Why didn't we watch the streaming video, you ask? Well let me make this a formal declaration of HATE for Penn Atlantic's streaming video operation. The NSIC conference is probably to blame for this, but give me a break. The Website is so bad, that we could never get into the game to watch it. You can't tell me that so many people were trying to watch a WSU football game that they used up all the bandwidth they had. What a pathetic product. I'm upset as a fan and an alumni. It should be very important to WSU for people to be able to watch this. This game and the atmosphere there would have attracted people's attention all year. It was a great win for them and a great scene. But instead lots of people didn't get to watch and now will have plenty of games to choose from during their Saturdays this fall, and may not have done a good enough job of attracting the people who don't live near Winona to tune in. Bad bad stuff. Most colleges have their own streaming video software to stream all their sports, and make it effective. This was pathetic.

But, Awesome win for those guys. Big shot out to the guys who I kicked it with down at the camp last month, and big Shot to my boys Bruce Carpenter, Carson Walch, and the staff down there for coaching them boys up. Awesome stuff.

FLORIDA STATE
Many of you know my affiliation with FSU, I love them, always have...well, since 1985. The girls at the top of the page, certainly bring a smile to most normal dude's faces. I transferred there to play football, however, the cuties were just a perk (Big shot out to Sister and Delta Delta Delta!!!). I made the team, practiced and played in a couple spring games, I never played when it counted. There were a few things that got in my way, but I certainly did work when the opportunity arose...here's proof. Anyone recognize any of those names in that article? or perhaps the chubby kicker in the photo? Haha, Nostalgia and I are going to have a moment..........ok, thanks.............So, there is my affiliation with FSU and an explanation of why I have so much love for them. In years recent, things have trended stinky for FSU football, at least according to our standards. I'm not sure they can rebound to the glory years of late 80's and 90's, but they need to improve. I think this year will be a step in the right direction.

FSU opens up Monday night, Labor day at home against hated rival Miami. I think FSU will give them the business actually, but that's not saying much, i think Miami will struggle again. FSU will run the ball a lot and well all year. I really don't know what the season has in store, but I know they have a murderous schedule. That's what I love about FSU, they never shy away from anyone. Always playing both Miami and Florida and Always throwing in tough other non-conference games. This year they scheduled games at home against South Florida and at #20 BYU. If I had to guess I would guess 8-4, but I'm hoping for 10-2 If they can get to 10-2 with that schedule they will be looking at a BCS bowl. We shall see. They return a great O-line, their QB is back with a young stud behind him. I'm interested to see how my Seminoles will do this year. For a little history of the Seminole name at FSU, read below

...

Osceola and Renegade

In 1978, FSU embarked upon a new tradition — one that had the full endorsement of the Seminole Tribe of Florida. A Seminole warrior riding a horse, to become known as Osceola and Renegade, was introduced at FSU home football games, and soon became one of the most enduring and beloved symbols of the university.

In the early 1990s, activists began to show up at FSU football games to protest the use of the Seminole name. Blistering speeches were given. Several times, the debate became heated. An Oklahoma Seminole Indian, Mike Haney, began to make frequent statements threatening to file human-rights complaints against FSU if it did not discontinue the use of the Seminole name and imagery. Throughout these attacks, the Seminole Tribe of Florida remained supportive of FSU and its use of the Seminole name and images. Later, Chief Jerry Haney of the Seminole Nation of Oklahoma added his support to FSU as well.

...

Go scratch Oklahoma Seminole, Tallahassee is Seminole Country!!!! Oh yeah, and NCAA, you can go up the creek too. Come try to take the name away again...chumps. "F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E...Florida State, Florida State, Florida State...Woooooooo!

IN CLOSING:
Obviously, I'm pumped that football season has started. I moved here to get back into the game I loved so much. Saturday afternoon, all the time I spent trying to get to this point will just evaporate within the smell of concession stands, sweat, field turf and that sweet new football smell!! I can't wait. Enjoy the best time of the year Valley, and I'll be talking to you soon with updates and more!!

Out like Preseason Camp...bring on the games!
Coach McQuillan

Speed Dating Vol. 2

Sorry for the delay, things are getting a bit busy as football season begins to get cranked up over at UST, Go Tommies!! But I do have the conclusion to our speed dating Q & A with our great friends Dave and Ryan. So please, enjoy.

Highlights of dates (From Dave):
One thing you will realize real quick from date to date is that you are constantly saying the same thing. It's a lot of that fake, small talk conversation. Where you from, what do you do etc. I would say all 9 dates that I went on were pretty much the same thing. However, two of the dates stood out more than others.....

1. It was date 4 or 5 for me and the usual small talk was in full force. Back and forth questions etc. I just happened to notice though, while I was talking she was drawing/doodling! Yes, she was using the piece of paper we were suppose to use to mark "yes or no" for balloon drawings. She was drawing balloons. Honestly, in the middle of this date I was thinking in my head "this can't be happening" am I that boring? So my thought of this girl was that she sucks. Of course, right when I start to think that, she blindsides me with this question. "My friends and I just started watching this new show called "Dexter", have you seen it?" Little did she know that Dexter currently ranks #1 in my list of Top Shows. My roommates and I have spent countless nights watching Dexter and imitating a lot of his actions! So, needless to say I was excited and talked the rest of the time about how awesome that show was. At the end of the day I still checked "NO" for two reasons. 1 She went to Ohio State and I HATE OHIO STATE. I am a HUGE Michigan fan so immediately she is out. 2. I couldn't get over the balloon issue......

2. This was my last date. I knew this date wasn't going to be fun when I asked the girl where she worked. Here is how the conversation went

Dave engaging in small talk "So where do you work?"
I forgot her name so we will call her Mollie "I work at a marketing company in Scottsdale"
Dave: "Cool, What company?"
Mollie: "I can't tell you that, you might be a stalker"
Dave: "Oh, ok??"

I was completely caught off guard. I never thought I put out that stalker vibe so this caught me by surprise. She went on to say that she didn't even want to be there and her friends dragged her out! After hearing all of this I didn't even know what to say because she was pissed off at life.

About a minute later the head of the speed dating event came around and wanted to take our picture and she immediately said "NO". In fact it was very rude and the guy didn't know what to say. (I actually wanted to take a picture so he could put that up on the website). Overall, this girl was cold. She was the worse date I had (the Dexter girl scored higher just because she likes Dexter).

On a side note, during Ryan's speed date with "Mollie" he gave her a high five!! I saw it!!!

Summary (From Ryan):
All in all, I'd say that speed dating was probably worth the $40....but just barely, and only because it was a new experience and because I was able to go with a trusted KV comrade. There just wasn't a lot of talent there for us to get too excited about. I'm always down for meeting new people and trying new things, so that was reason enough for us to go, but I doubt that I'd ever do it again.

Recommendation:
I would definitely recommend doing it at least once for everyone. After that, you can make your own call. Some people, like most of the other guys that were there, are looking for hard-core love, and, for them, I say "crank it up, dudes". I mean, honestly, Dave was SOOOO much hotter than every single girl there, that we immediately knew that he would not find any of them worth a second look. Not that looks are everything, but they're definitely something, right???

Closing:
There is a little more to this story. After we left the event, we knew that we were going to get a call from the moderator to tell us who we matched up with. The problem with that was that neither Dave nor I indicated that we were interested in any of the girls, so we weren't expecting a call at all. But, the moderator, who also happened to be the owner of the whole enterprise, called both of us to confirm that we didn't have any interest in anyone!!! I assured him that yes, that was correct. I then asked him if he could tell us how many people were interested in us, and, if so, who were they? He said to me "Oooooh, boy....you and Dave were popular guys!" And, although, he wasn't supposed to tell me this, he paged through the girls' evaluations, and he counted 6 girls that were interested in me, and he said that at least that number were interested in Dave. Yikes!

In conclusion, I just want to say that all the girls there were fine, personality-wise. They all were nice people. Some were, in fact, very interesting and were very good conversationalists. I wanted to say that because I feel bad about talking about their physical appearances like I did earlier!

God bless you, Matt Juaire. And God bless the Valley!

Ryan "Mr. Latenight" Peterson
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Boys, Thank you very much for participating. This was very fun for me to moderate, and I had a bunch of good laughs. Obviously, it helps that I know you guys, but I think for everyone this is a fun and interesting read. I hope the Valley enjoyed the conversation.

*I will be posting my preseason report of out University of St. Thomas football team tomorrow night. Our kids report to camp this Sunday, 2 days from now, and I hope that you will all follow our season. This will be my first year coaching and we have a great team coming back. We were preseason ranked #8, #17, and #22 in 3 different and respected polls. It is the first time Tommie football has received this recognition in a long time, if not ever. If you are in the Twin Cities area, please come by for a game. You can find our schedule HERE Of course I will keep you updated on our season as well as the fun randomness that you visit this page for. Cheers.

Out like my summer
McQuillan

Let's go speed dating!!! Vol. 1

This blog post is gonna be so good, it'll make you wanna SLAP yo momma!!!! Haha, what's up Valley?? I know, I know, you love all the blog posts, but this one has a little different flavor. We're going to combine some local Midwestern boys with a little Southwestern speed dating flavor...and I can't wait.

Backdrop -- My good friends and close Valley brethren, Ryan Peterson and Dave Dreas went on a little adventure a few weeks back down in Phoenix, AZ. I asked them to share their experience and thoughts about this great night out in a Q&A format, and I will post it virtually word for word. There is a lot of info so I'm going to break up the entire thing into to sections, Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 naturally. Without any more yapping, here we go.....

Questions and answers for Petey (Ryan Peterson)-
How did the idea come about for you and Dave to go speed dating?
The idea originally came up amongst all of us KV-Westerners (Nick, Dylan, Travis, and myself) before Dave even moved here. Then, when the time came to do it, Dave and I were the only ones that didn't puss out. Important Note: J-Scott never even considered it. When he heard that we were going, he lovingly asked us "So, you guys are paying $40 to meet a bunch of SKIZZ girls!!??" I also want to note that the idea came up because we just wanted to try something new and see what it was like.....NOT because we can't get dates from the other, typical methods (bars, set-ups, workplace, etc.).


How funny was the conversation with Dave?
Not very funny. He was all for it right away. Dave's a no-nonsense type of guy, and we looked excitedly ahead at this new venture as an opportunity to try something new and dominate in the process.

Was there persuading on either part? or just straight "Whatever", that's how we roll?
It was pretty much the "Whatever, that's how we roll" route.

Questions and answers for Double D's (Dave Dreas)
I want u to describe each of your outfits for this occasion?
Ryan and I both discussed what would be appropriate for this type of occasion. Seeing as neither of us have attended a "speed dating" event we decided to go somewhat casual. We didn't want to be the type that was "cheap/under dressed" or the type that "just got out of work" so we decided to play it somewhat in the middle. I myself, sported a dark blue, short sleeved, Ralph Lauren Polo with a pair of jeans and clean, white Polo kicks. Ryan wore a long sleeved, Perry Ellis, buttoned down, Carolina blue/w white stripes shirt with a pair of jeans and brown clogs. Not to mention, he added extra product!

I want to know of any conversations or thoughts about what you thought your chances were to get digits?
Ryan and I had numerous talks beginning from the day we signed up for the speed dating event. It was a lot of "I wonder" and "what if" type of talk. We wanted to convince ourselves that this was a great idea and that we would have great success stories to tell about. Our main thought, which was a stretch, was that some hot group of girls signed up for this event and just wanted to see what it was like. (Which was why we signed up, to see what it was like) On the other hand, we also discussed what would happen if all of the girls were "nasty" and nothing like us. So to answer the question, Ryan and I both thought that it would be a challenge but definitely not impossible to get some digits. We decided that two was a good number on our way to the "event."

Questions and answers for Petey
So, you get to the event and immediately upon entering the venue, what were the first few minutes like there?
We walked into the CASINO, and were led out onto this back patio type of area. We were the first ones there, so we sat a nearby bar, had a drink or two, and watched the Orlando Magic improbably claw their way back out of a huge deficit AGAIN. We got our name tags, met the moderator, and then that was followed by a good 5-10 minutes of Dave and I standing awkwardly in a circle with a few of the other guys that were participating. After some heartless handshakes and talking about our jobs and the economy, other people started to show up. We were gathered close around the moderator, and he described to us how it was going to work.

How did they organize the event?
They organized the event with the intentions of having 11 guys there and 11 girls. 11 guys showed up, but only 9 girls, so at any one time, two of the guys were sitting at a table by themselves. The girls were all seated at a table for two, and the guys would have a "speed date" with one girl for about 6 minutes, and then the moderator would ring a bell, indicating it was time to move on to the next one. After the bell rang, you were supposed to get up from the table, write down whatever notes you wanted to about the speed date you just completed, and sit at the next table.

What type of scoping was being done at this point?
Well, at one point, when the girls started showing up, Dave and I were walking from the bathroom back to the patio area where the speed dating was being held. He kind of grabbed my arm, and quietly said, "Oh my god, Ryan, oh my god....". At first, I didn't know what he was talking about. Then I saw the group of 3 girls that we were about to meet. One of them was about 6-4, black, and appeared to weight a solid 280. I'm not saying this with any hostility, negativity, or degradation.....I'm just answering the questions.

Tell me what your first "speed date" was like. i want to know all the details of the very first 6 minute segment. what did she look like, what did you talk about, etc?
Well, as I mentioned earlier, there was a black, 6-4, 280 pounder in attendance at the event, and guess who my first speed date was? That's right, good ol' Trinity! Now, the first thing I wanna say about Trinity is that Dave and I agreed afterwords that she was definitely the coolest girl there. She was very nice and very personable, but she just wasn't my type, I guess you could say. So I sit down with Trinity and we jump into the conversation. It was the first speed dating experience for both of us, and when I said my age was 31, she excitedly told me that she was 31, as well. Unlike Dave, who was scared to ask the "personal" questions, I asked her if she had been married and if she had any kids. She said that yes, she had been married about 8 years ago, and she told me that she had an 8-year-old son. I asked her if religion was a significant part of her life, and she said not really. I explained how I was Lutheran and I was pretty active in my church. She also told me that she was a nurse and that she loved her job. I told her that I did marketing for my financial group, and how I had worked in different capacities for the Scottsdale YMCA for 3+ years. As you can see, there wasn't a whole lot of interesting things discussed in that date......not to mention the rest of the night. The bell rang, we wrapped it up, and I moved on to the next table.

Questions and answers for Double D's
Tell me what your first "speed date" was like. i want to know all the details of the very first 6 minute segment. what did she look like, what did you talk about, etc?
After the whole group gathered around we were dispersed to our assigned tables. Keep in mind that we have now seen everyone that we are about to talk with. It was brought up, more than once, that we should possibly dip out before this event started. BUT, like model speed daters we decided to stick it out and possibly find our match!

I sat down at the table and the first girl that I talked to was Jamie. (That was her real name) Well to start out, Jamie looked like a Midwestern girl (please don't take offense to that Midwestern ladies, I love you all and hope to marry a Midwesterner someday) She was a little on the heavier side with dark hair. It didn't look from appearance that she worked out which is a big necessity of mine. I am also very particular when it comes to woman's teeth and her's weren't well kept. So far the initial "attraction" wasn't there for me.

So the date started out with the introduction of ourselves and shaking hands. Yes, shaking hands. We proceeded with the usual where are you from, where do you work, what do you like to do...etc. Well, Jamie was a nurse that worked three days on and had 4 days off. I thought that was the coolest thing in the world and proceeded to tell her that! I explained to her that i would lay around by our pool all day if I had 4 days off a week! She giggled! I never really like to ask girls/women their ages because they might take offense to it so I didn't ask Jamie for her age. I assume she was in her late 20's or early 30's. The first few minutes was basically a background check, getting to know some of the details of where people came from and what they do. (If I can remember right she was from California but I could be wrong)

Of course she was surprised that I was from Minnesota along with every other girl, I had to explain why I was down in Phoenix (That got real annoying after awhile). So I asked Jamie what were some "fun" things to do in Phoenix and her response was to "float" down the salt river. Very similar to the Apple River around the Minnesota area. I was real engaged in the conversation and explained to her how fun that would be if my friends ever wanted to float down the river. It was a good chat but then the bell rang.

It's weird because you think six minutes would take forever but this actually went fairly quick. To sum up the first date it was just a bunch of small talk with a little bit of nerves. It was the "first" date of the night so everyone was somewhat nervous and excited!! No politics, sports, intimate or hateful conversations came up so overall it was a good first chat! Unfortunately her time came to an end and I had to move on to my next lovely date!

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We will end Vol. 1 there and as you can see our boys are off and running with the bulls...not literally, well....?? Haha, I'm just kidding, Lot's of troopers out there need some love too if you know what I mean. Just not sure 6'4, 280 lbs. is in that "maybe" category for anyone not named Andre the Giant. But, so far so good for our Valley boys. A couple nice respectful dates to start out, now lets see if anything gets out of hand for Vol. 2, in our next installment of "Let's go speed dating!!!!!"

And in honor of our boys, I have to give you guys a classic................

Winona...man that playground is rough....

I spent the last week in Winona coaching the Team Football Camp there, and I have to say that I was sad to go. It was an amazing week. I ran into old Winona acquaintances, met a lot of new people and just had an awesome week. Big shot out to the Warrior Team Camp, Coaches, Warrior football players, and the two great looking girls handing out Gatorade at the field!!!

Also, I happened to end up downtown every night and partied like a champion, but no big deal that's expected out of an self respecting Winonan, right? I ate at Sammy's Pizza, Rocco's Pizza, Bub's, Winona Sandwich Company, Hyvee, Hardee's (after the bars, of course) and, last but not least, Acoustic Cafe. I think I did a pretty solid job on the food front for my marathon week back to Winona.

This post isn't really going to bee too long because it's late and I'm spent. We've started Offensive staff meetings at UST, and football season is about to get cranked up!! I just wanted to inform the Valley that I hadn't forgotten about them, and I will be coming with some more gooooooood stuff in the next little bit.

One quick thing I want to address before I get out of here, is that this past week was the first time in a while that I dominated the Devil's Playground. I have an anecdote for the difficulties it so often presents. It's called "Limon & Water". This is my pledge that this is the best drink on the planet for hangovers. It gives you a little sweetness, but not over the top with the Limon because the water takes the edge off. AND you're getting hydrated while tipsy. Half business, half prevention. I promise it works. I have to give credit where credit is due, a fellow Winonan, Mike G. put me on to this magnificent wonder. So, while this post may not be content heavy, let it be known that you can be 30 years old, close the bar down 7 days in a row, be productive during each day, and DOMINATE that town that so often has dominated you...with Limon & Water. Pinky swear.

I'll get up with you fools in a hot minute, check out these sweet lyrics, as my summer winds down...

"Dear summer, I know you're going to miss me, for we've been together like Nike Airs and crisp tees, S dots with the Polo fleeces, purple label s**t with the logo secret..."

Out like a trooper, unless I've had a couple...
Mcquillan

It matters not how slowly you go, but that you do not stop...

Valley, Valley, Valley, what the business baby!!!! I'm doing great, thanks for asking. The Tourney was an amazing weekend, we got lucky with the weather as it began to rain, but held off. People came out in big numbers, the cutie pies showed their stuff in the sun, and some great basketball was played. Congrats to the winning team led by Erik Ferden made up of Brad Meyer, Mike Schroeder, Kevin Strobush, and Jeff "Orange". Well done people and you all know I'm looking forward to next year...

Those of you that know me, know I like to talk a lot of trash. I will talk about basically anything. I like to think I have something to offer to conversations, and that's part of the reason I started writing this blog. We talk about a lot of fun and silly things on here and there needs to be time to just relax and talk about nonsense like that. Today however, I'm going to use this forum to talk about something a bit more serious, and a little closer to my heart. I still think this will apply to almost everyone who reads it, so I look forward to any feedback.

The title of the post is a quote by Confucius. If you're not sure who that is, He was a Chinese philosopher who is credited for lots of greatness. His teachings have influenced Asian cultures tremendously, and worldwide cultures as well. He was born 550 years before Christ. I bring that up because it helps to illustrate the thesis of this post. I'm talking about all our lives. Their directions, motivations, successes, and failures, and our reactions to the twists and turns we experience. People have been concerned with the navigation of their lives for a long time, clearly. Obviously, things have changed over the 2500 years since Confucius, but our desires to be happy and successful have not.

I don't claim to be any Dr. Phil, or some great philosopher, but I know a little bit about adversity. Do you? I know a little about success, and I know some about failure. Do you? I know what it's like to be lost in this life and feel like I just have no idea what my purpose is. I also know that I never lost faith that I knew there was a purpose for me. I relied on family and friends, I still do, for advice and feedback. Sound familiar? If not, you're lucky, but I bet this still applies to areas of your life. I'm going to tell you a little about my story, what I've used to help, and the way things can turn if you just keep fricken going.

I had a moderately successful high school and college career playing football. It was what I loved growing up. Luckily, I was bright enough to earn my high school and college diplomas as well. I didn't put forth the effort I should have, but sue me for being a dumb kid, huh? After college I moved to Florida to pursue an opportunity to play Arena Football. I never followed through because I got a job in real estate traveling all over the country, making pretty good money. And that was the proverbial hook in my mouth from corporate America. The beginning of me losing focus. Eventually I realized I didn't want to do stay with that job, and I didn't want to live in Florida either so I moved to the Second City. Chicago was great to me and I love her for that. Chicago presented me a lot of career options in sales and things that people don't really grow up dreaming to do, if you feel me. My internal struggles continued on as I began to feel like I wasn't fitting anywhere. I had several jobs, over the next few years and nothing was right. By the way, does this sound like anyone else out there? I imagine it does. I kept using my contacts to try and find better jobs places and that led me to speak on a semi-regular basis with my cousin out east. He works for Best Buy, and I wanted to see what he thought might be available. I'm now going to go to the email he sent me a couple years back that absolutely smacked me in the face with the simple stick, here are a couple quotes that hit home...

"One key thing to remember is you are not alone in this situation or feeling. An incredible amount of people including myself have experienced or experience the self doubt and feelings of not having real control over their professional lives that so often, unfortunately define who we are."

"Take some time to really think about what you love to do if you had all day to do it. Is it outside, inside working with people or working at your own pace alone? Think through the things you read about in magazines or newspapers when you scan the news. Lots of things interest you and some far more than others. And it doesn’t really matter what it is because I bet there is a job out their right now looking for the best person in the role who can really take it to new levels. I remember people saying I like to play video games all day or I like to surf all day and folks would say ya but you can’t make any money at that and you will be a loser, drifter or bum the rest of your life. The last time I looked kids were making millions as the best gamers in the world competing global. Many have endorsements like that Shawn kid who is endorsed by Creative Labs sounds cards under the Fatal1ty brand. Same goes for surfers that make millions traveling the world, getting endorsements and the like. The key is understanding your passion and then figuring out is there a market out there or could there be down the road?

Hang in there. This is the hardest time figuring out who you are what you want to do in life. It will get better and far more clear. I promise.

Find your passion."

I am not afraid to say that as I read these things, I broke down. pretty much entirely. I mean straight sobbing right at the computer. But it was also the light I needed. That was Valentines Day, 2008. I've always known what I'm passionate about, athletics, and specifically football. It took me a little while to understand that there wasn't anything I love more than football. I love other sports, but it would be a waste of time for me to try and pursue a career in anything other than my passion. Have you found yours?

I moved back to the Minneapolis area to take advantage of football contacts in the area. I got a job in the meantime at a law firm, like where I was working in Chicago. I began setting up meetings and sending out emails and calling everyone I thought could help. I worked, I just kept hitting the street, because I knew this was it. I just knew, there was no looking back or second guessing, I just had to make it happen. Clarity is a beautiful thing. Especially when for about 6 years things were not clear. I was laid off on April 1 from the law firm and was told on April 2 that I was wanted to Volunteer at St. Thomas. By spring I was volunteering at St. Thomas University's spring football, and was recently offered an assistant coaching position there this fall. Next week, I'm going to Winona to coach Winona State's football camps. Goal #1 is met, I'm in.

Is that it then? Hell no. I have goals, I have ideas of where I can go in this sport. All the BS I've fought through over the last few years, has done nothing but build my resolve. And this little bit of success, is that reward. I wish I could explain how happy I am. I think for the first time in my life, I'm truly proud of myself. Not because now I'm a football coach, but because I fought and battled. I learned the hard way many times,I used that experience, and it paid off. "It matters not how slowly you go, but that you do not stop." Many tears fell because I just knew there was something, something I was meant to do and I couldn't figure it out. Damn that is frustrating man, sometimes debilitating. And I know people out there understand that. I have a best friend right now going through a rough career issue, I was laid off, my sister was laid off, everyone knows people feeling the pain of this economy. It is damn tough out there and to pretend it's not is setting yourself up for trouble. But I just said to myself that I was tougher. I have a tattoo that reads in Irish Gaelic "Power comes to those who uncover success in every struggle". I believe that completely. I'm not the first person to talk about how great it is to achieve when adversity is present. There's nothing profound in me talking about overcoming life's obstacles. You don't want to hear all that cliche crap. You know all about it right? Now ask yourself why that is? It's because it's so damn true that it's happening all the time. Our lives are spent struggling for those small moments when we smile, cry, or whatever you do when you know you've accomplished something. Remember in the "Pursuit of Happiness" at the very end. After everything He'd been through, and to finally have that "moment" with himself. Man, I remember thinking, "Can I get some of that please?" So I worked, and all it took was my current head coach to tell me that he would love to have me apart of his staff for me to, for the first time, understand the power I had. The fact that it was something I know I loved, something I am crazily passionate about only helped me to know that I AM on the right path. Are you?

I'm not using this blog to preach about anything or tell everyone how right I am about things...well, yes I am actually, haha. But honestly, this was an opportunity to share some of my story, knowing I'm not alone and neither are you. You gotta keep working, there is no quick fix or lottery for happiness. But there is happiness. It comes in small moments, family and friends supporting you, and knowing that you're doing something that you love to do. It's like going out on the lake on a hot day, do you like that? Do you love to do that? Are you happy when you do that? Simple really. Not easy, so don't confuse the two, but simple. I found my passion, it took me a while to figure it out but I found it again. And I feel lucky for that. I have a lot of work to do to get to where I want to go, but there is light at the end of the tunnel...there's always light at the end of the tunnel...there's ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel.

Find your passion.

Thanks to everyone who helped me and continue to help me along the way, you all know who you are, I am yours forever, know that. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope it applied to your life in at least one little way. I hope my story is another small piece of proof that hard work does pay off, and it will for others everyday. I'm not special, I still really haven't done much with my life, but for me it is nice to read about someone's trials and bring the realness of it home...remind you that this "life" thing is going on all around us. I know it helps me to read about people stories and I hope I could offer some help in return. What we do does not define who we are, ever. It's a mistake to think it should or does. But what we do is important for several reasons, and it does overlap with who we are because of those any reasons. Some things in life we can change and our careers or what we do for money, is one of them. I think motivation and drive in an individual is absolutely necessary. With that it is absolutely true that we can achieve whatever we put our minds to, make it happen Valley!

Out like Michael Jackson...RIP
McQuillan

The Tourney...

Hey yo Valley!! before I get to the main reason for the post tonight, let me say that Valparaiso Florida represented last weekend and your boy certainly did his part. Big shot to the whole crew, I love seeing you guys and I had a blast. There's nothing so nice as drinking all day in your trunks and chilling with good people, I know you all feel me...

Now let me get into the main reason for this post and one of the most important posts in this blog's history. So, listen up.

The Knopp Valley Tournament

I. Origins
15 Years ago, on a starry night like tonight, a group of teenagers, led by Erik Ferden and Ryan Peterson, birthed an idea for the ages. We loved basketball and most of my friends and I played often for fun outside of school or organized team stuff. We often gathered to play at a court we call "Knopp, pronounced "Nop". It is an outdoor court in a park located in a housing development called Knopp Valley, in Winona, MN. It's a beautiful scene, laid perfectly in the base of one of Winona's gorgeous bluff valleys. A few individuals involved grew up in Knopp Valley, and so games have just always been played there. It was here that a 4 on 4 tournament was born consisting of childhood and school friends. The date: July 4, 1995. Our Nation's and our tournament's birthday. Not one week after the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted Kevin Garnett, and during the same month that "Clueless" and that crappy Costner movie "Waterworld" were released, and just a few short months after the Cincinnati Bengals drafted the great Ki-Jana Carter with the #1 overall pick...The Knopp Valley Tournament was born. The Tourney started out small with just 4 teams, but unlike KG, Ki-Jana Carter, or Waterworld, The Tourney stuck around, and we all thank the heavens for the grace shone upon us over the years. Not one tourney has been rained out, very few injuries have occurred and usually only minor, and great friendships and traditions have grown over the years.

II.Traditions and Format
There are captains of the 7 teams each year, and they perform a draft. The draft used to be done with everyone together but life has forced people all over and now is done via technology for the most part. There have been several captains over the years. Many remain constant but there is some shifting. The draft is done like most every one's fantasy sports drafts, in a "snake" format. Since its inception, the draft order has been kept confidential, only the captains know where people were drafted.

Somewhere during this stretch of 1.5 decades a golf tournament got started. Whoever wants to play or can make it get together and hit the links. Then the entire group, or almost all, meet at a local restaurant, recently it has been Ed Sullivan's in Trempeleau, WI. There we gather from all over the country: Arizona, Wisconsin, Oregon, Colorado, Minnesota, and in recent years Illinois or Florida. There we give daps, hugs, and plenty of mean mugs to our teammates, our opponents, and our family...

Gameday starts at 8am...well, kinda. We hope that people show up by then so we can get started. We all throw in our money, and we take a look at the tournament bracket. A bracket that is beautifully crafted by a local YMCA employee, supporter, and friend of The Tourney, Daryl Anderson. It is a round robin format for the first round so each team plays 6 games. Then we rest for a bit and begin the seeded, double elimination tournament. The Tournament lasts all day long, and is usually done by around 5-6 o'clock. And as someone who has come up from the losers bracket and played the most games possible, it is one hell of a tough day. One thing that makes it easier on everybody is the tradition of playing loud hip hop music all day long. The good stuff too, not this Flo-rida crap, no Souldia Boy (or however you spell that nonsense), We're talking the good stuff...Outkast, Biggie, Jay-Z, Tupac, E-40, Spice 1, Mobb Deep, Wu-Tang Clan, Lil Wayne, EPMD, Beastie Boys....wow soory, I just feel like going on forever. But it is great that this tradition has never stopped and I hope it won't because the music is part of what makes this day ours

After The Tourney is the "Afterparty". We have gathered at different places for food and drinks over the years and this is usually the beginning of a fantastic night and the right way to end a great day and tradition...laughing and enjoying family members.

III. The People
We are all competitive individuals, some extraordinarily so. Our family is made up of high school all-conference and all-state athletes, college all-conference and all-american athletes, and avid hoopers who love to play and have been around The Tournament since forever. Many of us are 30 years old and over, but most are still in their 20's. There is one player who was 7 years old when this tournament started. The Knopp Vally Family is diverse as any group of 35-40 people, but we are close in that we all hold something dear to us, and respect each individual immensely for their contributions to this great tradition. The crowd has grown from about 0, to now more than 50 people regularly stop by, and probably many more. Lot's of parents, girlfriends, friends, and basketball fans, spend the day in the sun watching great basketball. I'm sure lots of the parents aren't happy about all the swear words over the years, so let me take this opportunity to apologize for my part in that...but hey, it's The Tourney!!

From the bottom of my heart, and I'm sure many echo this, I wouldn't be in Winona for the 4th of July if it wasn't for this tournament. Seeing these guys, makes it one of the most fun weekends of the year. I wouldn't trade it, I wouldn't change it, and I wouldn't want it to include anyone other than all the people who have participated and made this day and event so great over these 15 years. And for my Knopp Valley Family, be ready to get it on in a couple days, because I'm coming for every one of you!!! Love you guys, see you soon....

Out like Koehler...RIP homey
McQuillan.

So Hot

Valley, I apologize for my absence, but I'm sure you understand how life goes. I've been pretty busy, in and out of town, and working. At any rate, I would like to give a big shot out to Twins fans for their showing at Wrigley field and out on the town in Chicago a couple weekends ago. It was a phenomenal turn out, and by far the craziest opposing crowd I've ever seen at Wrigley. Minnesota, representing!!!

Today it is going to be mid 90's here in the Twin Cities metro area. It is definitely no joke out there. I love it though, I like it hot. But sometimes I use the word hot in a sarcastic tone, you'll have to figure out in just what way I'm using it throughout this post. Here's my first example of something hot.

So, at this very second, I'm home from Park Nicollet Clinic for about 30 minutes before I have to go back. The reason is super hot, check it out. My left ear has never been flushed and it is totally blocked with ear wax, terrible. So you go in and get this irrigation thing done where they water blast your ear until all the gunk comes out. Well, after an hour of blasting the mission was not accomplished. They put some drops in and said to come back in an hour for more blasting. So hot.
I will have to leave before I post this, so I will make sure to inform you how round 2 goes.

I'm going to Florida this weekend for a big family party down near Destin, FL. It is going to be upper 90's there, hot no doubt. I always have a great time down there and I get to see my sister and the fam. Also, my sister and I are making a video to apply for the Amazing Race TV show. Should be a pretty fun and funny video, obviously I'll let you know if you need to tune into the show later on. Another hot part of this trip is my former teammate at FSU and my best friend in Tallahassee is going to meet me there. I haven't seen Rian in 8 years, so I'm pretty stoked to mix it up with the big teddy bear, big shot cuz-o!!

Phone contracts are not hot...not even close.

This is super hot...please watch for the tambourine guy, so hot



Hot love baby, hot love.

I'm now leaving to go back to the clinic, should be a pretty hot trip, talk to you soon...And I'm back, less than an hour later with a brand new clean ear!!!! Man is being able to hear again HOT HOT HOT!! What an ordeal...there is a lesson in here people: keep your ears washed out more than once every 30 years. Don't use cue tips, they are pointless for cleaning the inner ear, make sure to wash them out in the shower, your welcome for the hot advice.

How hot was the US Open that just finished a couple hours ago??? Not at all is the right answer. It was rainy, windy and not one bit nice out there on Long Island. Great tournament though if you're into watching golfers literally fight the course. Most everyone knows how difficult golf is to play in general, but Bethpage Black is another monster altogether. And, this week you could just tell how hard those guys battled the elements along with the course. Nice to see David Duval back in the thick of things and too bad Phil had another let down at the US Open.

You know who's hot? Megan Fox is hot. Lots of people have a "top 5" list of their hottest celebs or people, and I'm no different. Currently, Megan Fox has the #1 spot by the largest margin in the history of my top 5 list. I mean I can't even explain how hot I think she is. That Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her forearm??? So Hot! I mean, Eva Mendes is smoking hot, and she's getting blown away right now. And we all get to go see Miss Fox on the big screen starting this Wednesday when Transformers 2 is out, if you're excited raise you hand!! And if you're not then please click on THIS Now, if you're not on the same page as I am then I say something tragic must have happened in your childhood, because that is just HOT!! And the same goes for you too ladies, you know you think she's hot too...cold shower, be right back...

And now, enjoy some of the Legend, Joe Crocker:

"Hot town summer in the city
back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
I been down isn't it a pity
doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
all around people looking half dead
walking on the sidewalk hotter than a match-head
But at night it's a different world
go out and find a girl
come on come on and dance all night
despite the heat it will be alright
and babe don't you know it's a pity
the days can't be like the night
in the summer in the city
in the summer in the city"

Out like my broke ass ear wax
McQuillan

RIP The Wire

Valley, quick post here. First let me say that we have an exciting week of stuff coming at you, but I want to take the time to pour out a little Jameson for a great series I just finished recently called The Wire. If you haven't seen this, I recommend it as one of the best cop/gang/politics shows I've ever seen. It was on HBO so you know it was done right. One of my favorite parts of the whole show is when a cop dies, they have a "wake" at their favorite bar and Someone performs the Eulogy and then a song is sang by everyone. It's by The Pogues, and it's an Irish anthem that deserves some props. So, without further ado, enjoy a great tune as Americans and allow me to pay some respect to The Wire....



..."I'm a free born man of the USA, I'm a free born man of the USA, I'm a free born man of the U..S..A!!!!"

Out like Jimmy McNulty
McQuillan

Learning made fun! (moms would be so proud)

So, Memorial day weekend has come and gone. I hope the Valley has some great stories and got a lot of R&R (That's rest and relaxation for you Wisconsin born chumps!!) My plate was so full I don't even remember what I did on Saturday...what a weekend. Big shot out to Stro for taking his brother to a fun wedding, congrats Nate and Molly!! Big shot out to the Beckmans and our Prior Lake boat crew from yesterday, lots of fun. Crazy thing from yesterday was that 6 people went to dinner and 5 of us ordered a 1 lb. cheeseburger and finished it all!! I bet that hasn't happened there too much before. Good stuff. Now I'm going to share with you some things I learned this weekend, that should be entertaining for all.

LET ME LEARNS YOU ONTO SUMPIN......
If you quit trying to learn new things, you might as well quit life. There are always things to be learned, whether it be self help tips, academic knowledge, or just fun and interesting life lessons. If you're not paying attention for this stuff, I feel sorry for you, because it is everywhere. here are some examples from just the past couple days:







That is called Wake Surfing, I learned about it yesterday and told my buddy Logan that I did not believe what he was saying. So, naturally I go to youtube to see it with my own eyes. He was right, I was wrong...first time for everything I guess!! Basically you get behind a boat, with an artificially large wake on one side. This wake can be produced by weighing down one side of the boat so to tip it a little. then you use a rope to help get you started but once you're up and going you can just throw the rope in the boat and freaking surf on the wake!! And as you can tell the Wake pulls you right along. I think this is very cool and looks fun. I promise you that when the water here in MN gets above 70 degrees I will be trying this. Surfs up dudes!!!

I got a buddy going into the Army, and he's almost 30 years old. He's got a college degree, and has made the decision that he wants to serve. I'm proud of him and wish him luck. And as Memorial day weekend passes I wish to give thanks to all that serve in any capacity. Thank you. And on top of that I learned something about the process. Now, if you were to come out of high school or without a college degree of any kind, you enlist and you sign a contract that puts you in for a certain # of years. Basically, your booty is owned by the United States Government. Some would argue they own us anyway, but that's another blog post altogether, one we will probably never get to. Anyway, my buddy is going to go through boot camp as would anyone else, but then go to officer training school because of the college degree. Once he is commissioned as an officer he will be given rank as a Lieutenant, and will be free of his contractual obligations. At that point he is in for as long as he wants to be and hopefully will take advantage of the great training, put in his 20 years and retire with a nice pension and experience to do something else at age 50. I think this is cool to know for anyone thinking about making a change this serious. Well done my brother and god speed. oh and just for fun, check this gem out...Aaaaarmy training sir!!!!!



Oh what the heck, watch this one too....haha



Some other things I learned this weekend are as follows. If you look good, I mean if you really dress right gentlemen, women WILL and DO notice that. Make sure to take that into account next time you put on an outfit for a certain occasion.

BCBG continues to make hot women's shoes. go out and cop you some of those ladies...

Rap music at weddings really gets the party going, end of story.

When boating, it's important to remember that not everyone on the lake/river/ocean is going to look good in their bathing suits, understanding this is vital to enjoying your day. There should be surprises when troll up behind another boat and notice large objects in your rear view......feel me?

If you're going to eat a 1 lb. burger, just enjoy the moment. Don't worry about what the next morning in the bathroom might be like. Don't dwell on the number of calories you are taking in, because I promise you they will either be digested or disposed of otherwsie.

"...However, living better now Gucci sweater now, drop top BM's I'm the man girlfriend...Honey check it, tell your friends to get with my friends, and we can be friends...shoot we can do this every weekend, is that aight with you?? yeah...keep banging Valley!!!!"

Something I just cannot believe

Okay, I couldn't possibly wait on this after laughing at this on TV for about 5 minutes. I know we talk a lot about sports here, and we like to point out ridiculous and funny things...well Valley, I've got it all wrapped into a couple very funny videos. First I will say a couple things in honor of this absolutely unbelievable athletic movement.

Yours and my favorite Charles....Charles Barkley has a bit of an issue when it comes to his golf swing. Well, Chuck has issues when it comes to drinking and gambling as well, but we will focus on his golf swing. For one, I can't believe this footage. This was an amazing athlete in his prime. Charles Barkley was a prototype power forward, and one of the greatest basketball players of all time. How on earth can he not improve on this seizure of a golf swing?? I love Chuck, he is my favorite basketball analyst next to Gus Johnson and the late great Al McGuire. Let us not confuse that with the fact that I DO NOT love his golf swing.....well actually, I kinda do. What I just cannot believe is that he doesn't improve this train wreck of a swing. You don't have to know anything about golf to know that this is simply unacceptable. But, with that said, It is great to watch. Please watch and laugh out loud at our favorite "Round Mound of Rebound"







I just couldn't pass on sharing this with you guys, wow is that stuff awesome.

Out like Chuck's lower back...
McQuillan

Good Gracious...

VALLEY!!!!!!!!! Man, I have to apologize for the disaster that is my technical situation. Getting this computer fixed was like getting an abortion on the alter of a Catholic church, seriously. My Uncle finally got it cleared up and loaded up with all the stuff it needs to actually work...for that I'm thankful. For it being free of charge, I'm extremely thankful. But anyway, let us get back to business of having some fun talking about cool stuff, and ripping on people who suck!!!!

The Roses
So, I put a little money on the Kentucky Derby as I said I would. I bet $5 on 4 different horses to win, and one of them was a 50-1 long shot ridden by the same jockey who rode Street Sense in the 2007 Derby, which I attended and won money at. This horse, Mine That Bird, won the Derby and paid me $250 on a $5 bet....Oh what a happy day. This leads me to my next thought, and that is about this Saturday's Preakness. Mine That Bird's jockey, Calvin Borel, has jumped off his Derby winning Colt to ride the Philly, Rachel Alexandra, in the Preakness. Rachel Alexandra is regarded as the best 3 year old out there period, and Calvin rode her to an impressive victory in the Kentucky Oaks (the race for Phillies the night before the derby). It's hard for me to blame him for riding the better horse, but he is the only person capable of winning the Triple Crown this year and I think it stinks he's not going to be able to ride it out with Mine That Bird. He is the only reason I bet on that horse in the Derby, and now I feel I need to bet on Mine That Bird again because he treated me so kindly a couple weeks ago...but without the jockey who rode him. Bummer. Looks like I'll be mixing up a little strategy at the race track on Saturday. Another bonus is that Cantebury Downs has live racing all day leading up to the Preakness, should be an exciting day, so if you're in the Minneapolis area swing out for a day at the races!

Memory Lane
Recently I had an authentic burrito from a cute little Mexican joint down the street from my place. It was the first "non-chain" burrito I've eaten since I moved back from Chicago. I never thought eating a burrito would be such an emotional experience. It shot me back to the days when I moved up to Chicago and got a place in the city with my boy Jesse. We would get burritos on a regular basis in our neighborhood. Otherwise we were ordering from this place called "Clown Pizza" and it was awesome. A little clown came to your door to deliver the pizza and everything....okay we just told everyone that, but It would be sweet huh??? Summer is coming and I miss Chicago a lot right now. I love it here in Minny too, but it's kind of like having a girlfriend, who you love, but missing an ex every so often. Or for a better example it's like when a girl has an ex and even though she's dated and been dating she still gets jealous or pissy when someone else, especially a friend, dates the old boyfriend. I still get pissy when I know the weather is nice and the Cubs are at home and I can't head down to Murphy's for some sight seeing and Bud Light cans...But I will be heading back in about a month for the Cubs/Twins series and I will just have to get my fix then...and I will!!! I might even get a burrito in between those Bud Lights. I know I've mentioned Chicago often, but I love that place, and if you get a chance to visit in the summer, definitely do it. It is a great city.

Brett Favre
And he's coming back again, or not, but wait, if he's healthy maybe.....Come on man!!!!!!!! This story is a journalist's heaven, it never ends. And now he's rumored to be heading to our very own Minnesota Vikings. I'm not even going to get into all the peripheral hoopla that everyone else, ESPECIALLY ESPN, likes to get into, but I will put in my opinion. It will be a hard opinion for you all to argue, since I'm always right. The question to me is simple. Is Brett Favre better than what is currently on the Viking's roster? I believe the answer is yes. The familiarity with our offense and offensive coaches is a big plus as well. Am I really excited about the possibility f Brett Favre coming to may favorite team? No. I think the word is "Indifferent". If he's healthy, and wants to be a good teammate and win ball games, then I'm all for it. I can't think of a better scenario than watching a Viking Superbowl with a Packer fan having to watch and suffer through that. Not to mention, that if they were to win a Super Bowl, it would be the same amount he won for the Packers. I'm not saying that's going to happen, but it would be awesome if it did and totally worth all the garbage that will be surrounding this story all year long or until it's dead...for now. Overall, if it doesn't happen, I'm not too bent out of shape. I just marvel at the ability one guy has at keeping the media at this high a fever pitch year after year. It is a skill. Granted it's a skill rooted in the need for attention, but a skill none the less. I mean ESPN has Rachel Nichols down in Hattiesburg, MS at a high school football practice that Brett Favre wasn't even attending!! That is funny stuff. I'm sure there will be more to come on this story...but I had to mention it at least or risk not "keeping up with the media Jones's".

Randomness
A couple weeks ago the University of Minnesota had it's spring football game at the University or St. Thomas' football field. I currently coach at St. Thomas and was aware of this. Our head coach told everyone that they can stick around and watch the game if they'd like and one of our players for about a week was assuming that he was suiting up and actually playing against the Gopher football team. I'm not sure how he worked to this conclusion but we all had a pretty big laugh about it. People never cease to amaze me...but that's a good thing.

I'm going to Canada in 10 days so if anyone has any knowledge of Winnipeg, let me know of something cool to do. I won't have too much time, but I'd like to check out a good place to eat or something...holler at me.

Advice: If you're turning right and you know someone is behind you and you have the option to pull over into the right turn lane or the shoulder before making your turn, DO IT!!!!! You know you have to slow down to make the turn, if there is room to get over to the right, get over there and allow the people behind you to continue travelling. Man people really stink at life and driving!!!

The NBA Playoffs have been crazy to watch this year. I don't really watch the NBA much during the regular season because it's boring as heck, other than a few players, but it has been fun to watch. Lots of hard fouls, and Lebron James whipping butt. I know Hooper wants me to give a shot out to the Nuggets for throwing down, so I will. I really like their chances against LA with the way each of those teams are playing right now. Good luck to your Nugs Hoop, and for everyone who was in the kitchen at the Brown House that fateful night of Hooper and his box wine, we all know how much he LOVES his Nuggets....hahaha. I really do hope however, that we get to see Kobe and Lebron in the finals. That would be fun to watch...like on the "Super duper" level.

So I hear that Republicans are all in a tiff about Wanda Sykes cracking jokes about Rush Limbaugh's kidneys failing. Hey tight wads, it's a joke!! I joke about idiots all the time and Rush spends his entire life offending people, gimme a break. I even tell my friends to go kill themselves sometimes. Like if Jokela makes fun of me or burns me, I will tell him to go eat some Anthrax. It's funny to joke about people dying or getting hurt. Not sure why, but it is. Nobody really means the stuff literally (usually) and people always laugh...which is the Idea of jokes, i promise. Also, Wanda Sykes is a comedian, she makes jokes for a living. Man, people need to chill out.

Ladies, remember now that it's starting to get really nice outside, we (straight men) expect cute clothes, no "muffin tops" but some skin is acceptable, willingness to converse if approached respectfully, not too much make-up but some to accentuate, no janky teeth and no janky breath. Thank you very much and I can't wait to see you.

Quick News
We do have a winner for the first annual KValley Report NFL Draft Pick'em. It was a victory by the slimest of margins, but Chris Lisitza was the winner and we will be expecting some great insight on a topic of his choosing soon. Congrats Chris!!! Valley, I'll be seeing you soon, I promise!!

"I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together...Valley I'm good all by myself, but you make me better, you make me better....together we burn it up...."

Out like Ricky Hatton in the 2nd....
McQuillan

Technical difficulties...

Valley, I apologize for the lack of knowledge recently. Sometimes computers die and people are lucky enough to have an uncle who can repair and reload but it takes a little while....this is that sometime. Not much I can do but today i am currently at "Tha Dogg's" spot for a bit and was able to sent a quick note letting everyone know that i hope to be back up online early next week. Until then you'll have to do with a few quick things that have made the last week great great great.

I turned 30...had a party...a thousand people showed up to give me love and I have the best friends in the world and I feel pretty.....Thanks goes out to anyone in the Valley who showed up and made it the best birthday party I've ever had. I got some scotch for presents...which is nice. But most of all, the best present was the great night with great people. And for those that have read some previous posts, you know how the Valley gets down..."And they ain't leavin' til 6 in the morning!!!" But seriously, big shot out to all my people. What a great weekend...love you guys (and gals, of course).

If you're not watching this Bulls/Celtics series, yo momma brought you up wrong. It is the best series I can remember watching since maybe the old Bulls/Knicks series'. Hero shots galore, cheap shots a plenty, and just awesome athletes doing awesome things. Game 7 tomorrow night, watch it.

I'm excited for the Kentucky Derby tomorrow, is anyone else???? Well, if you haven't done your scouting yet but plan on putting down some cash, take my pick into account...Dunkirk. He's trained by Todd Pletcher and Pletcher is a training legend. He has entered 24 horses in the Kentucky Derby and won exactly 0 times. He's due, and the horse is a sick looking charcoal gray color, my favorite. Which means, that he'll win...obviously. If you've not actually been to a Derby before, you need to make a trip sometime, it is an amazing day at a great venue, Churchill Downs. "And there off!!"

I also want to let the Valley know that we will have a NFL Draft Pick'em Champion by the next post, and an exciting entry by the champion will be forthcoming. Again, I apologize for the technical difficulties, but will be back on the attack soon enough. Any complaints can go right to the email address over on the right....but on that note I have some great lyrics to calm the ravenous KValley Report readers.............

"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you I'm still alright to smile. Girl, I think about you every day now. Was a time when I wasn't sure but you set my mind at ease. There is no doubt you're in my heart now...just a little patience, yeeaaahh, some more patience, yeeaaahhh........"

Out like the Spurs' old, boring butts
McQuillan

Perspectives from the other side of life...

Guten tag Valley!!!! That's German for "good day" for you inner city educated stiffs. It's Thursday morning, and it's going to be in the 80's here in Minneapolis today, let me give a big shot out to Mother Nature for that. Also, I stumbled across some funny news over the past week. It turns out someone from my previous employer goes blog surfing and found the KValley Report. Of course he noticed the information I leaked about that establishment's happenings, and from what I hear, some were not too thrilled. I won't apologize for reporting the truth but I can say that we LOVE the attention to the blog and keep the hits coming to the site!!! Now, get off the Internet and pick up some phone calls, people need to file some bankruptcies!! Also, on a completely unrelated topic, I worked out in a college weight room yesterday and I COMPLETELY forgot how hot college chicks are, big shot out. Those of you out of college, don't worry I think you're hot too :) I'm going to give some thoughts about a few current events in the sports world that I found rather fascinating...

Percy Harvin
Many of you may know this name, some may not. He is a football player who is about to get drafted by an NFL franchise this Saturday. He had a great career at Florida, even though we hate the Gators here at the KValley Report...remember that...and he is an electrifying athlete. I read today that he tested positive for marijuana when tested at the NFL combine in February. Alright, now I'm going to go off. You have got to be one of two things for this to have happen. First option is you are a complete moron. Second choice is you have a drug problem. And let be be one of the first few to tell you this, Percy, "The NFL teams you wish to pay you, aren't excited about either one of those options!!!!" This was a guy who was predicted to go in the top 15 picks in the draft and by doing so would have signed himself a contract that would have included 15 million dollars...guaranteed (approx). Instead, by dropping to the late part of the round he will likely lose at least half and maybe more. Before you laugh and say, "Who cares, he's still a darn millionaire", put it into perspective. If you knew that you would have to take a cut in pay by 1/2 at your job if you failed a drug test, would you even come close to risking it? No, exactly, you'd have to be a moron. Unless of course you have a drug problem, which is just as alarming and will cost you the same.

My perspective on this comes from just being an average guy with a brain. Percy knew he was taking a drug test, and he knew exactly when he would be taking it. Yet, he still got stoned with his boys putting that all at risk. I'm sorry, with the most important day of your young life looming, there is just no excuse for this. I wouldn't so much as have a soda pop if I knew that much money was on the line. That opportunity should be looked at as a privilege and respected more. Come on man!!!!!

Jimmy Smith
From a young idiot football player, to an old retired idiot football player. Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy. Turns out this great old Wide Receiver for the Jaguars just can't get right. He had drug problems before his career started, he had injuries, and a horrible beginning to his career in the early 1990's. But then he rebounded, got a chance, and made the most of it. The man had over 12,000 yards receiving and ranks 15th all time in that category. Great career. Wednesday, he was pulled over for driving with illegally tinted windows in Jacksonville (in Florida those windows need to be darn near opaque to get pulled over for that). What happened next I have copied and pasted the exact wording from espn.com below:

The trooper reported that the inside of the car smelled like burnt marijuana. During a search, the trooper found crack cocaine, marijuana and a business card with powder cocaine residue in the car's center console.

Well that's quite the round-up of party favors for old Jimmy. Now, many of you know me and know that I'm no angel. But goodness gracious. You have gotta have some type of problems to be rolling around that dirty. I mean crack?? I heard it's an awesome high, but that's about as low as it gets on the drug totem pole, or close. That is a billboard on your forehead telling everyone you've lost it. This guy has been to rehab before and clearly needs more guidance. I'm not sure he's willing to comply but I hope the legal system doesn't just let him off because he was able to afford a good lawyer. This man is a danger to others and to himself. As a former Wide Receiver, I loved watching Jimmy play. He wasn't the biggest, or the fastest but he ran great routes and made plays. I was pretty bummed when I saw this and thought that if this was me, I'd be heading straight to the clinic to check myself in. Grab a hold of yourself Jimmy, it's embarrassing.

Jeremy Tyler
Most probably haven't heard this name, and neither had I until today. This kid is 17 years old and a junior in high school. Here's where it gets interesting; Jeremy is 6'11" and he's leaving HIGH SCHOOL early to play pro basketball in Europe. This kid will not be completing his high school diploma before he plays basketball for money. And you thought KG, Kobe, and Lebron were sweet. At first when I read this, I wondered, "What are this kids parents doing, hanging out with Percy Harvin and Jimmy Smith??" But then I thought some more and looked at it from the kid's perspective. And I'm hoping that this is mostly his perspective and not his handlers'. If I'm good enough to get paid,and I want to become the best basketball player I can before I'm eligible to be drafted in the NBA, where is the best place for me? Is it really in college where I'm required to go to class and study things that i don't care about and won't be studying after my 1 year is up and i can enter the draft? Is it staying and finishing High School with those players and that competition even before college? I may side with the kid on this one. I'm not saying I would do the same, because I love college sports, but from that side of things he's got a point. In Europe they do this all the time, and even here in sports like tennis or golf. It's just not the norm whatsoever, so it really struck me.

Honestly, could you imagine leaving you high school early to play pro sports...or better yet, on topic, could you imagine being 17 years old and going to freaking Europe to live on your own? I am an advocate for college for many things, academia is somewhere on the list, but the rest is about growing up and figuring out life. College is a great "middle earth" if you will in that process. I hope this kid has the soul to handle the money and lifestyle he will be taking on. and I hope it works out well and we see him in the NBA soon. They say he's probably going to Spain, and I hear the women in Spain are amazing...so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

leaving my 20's
This weekend will be the last weekend of my 20's. It has been a crazy ride, but I'm certainly looking forward to my 30's. After all, it is a fact that 30 is the new 20. Plus I have all my hair, it's not gray, and my boyish good looks are unmistakable....haha I'm looking forward to a great weekend seeing a lot of friends and family, and I wish the Valley a great weekend as well.

"I'm going to keep it going Big Tymer you heard me, hey, I got cake like everyday's my birthday. Wait, I don't think they heard me, I said I got cake like everyday's my BIRTHDAY!" ~Angel food please.......................

REMEMBER: get your top 15 picks for the NFL Draft Pick'em into the kvalleyreport@gmail.com before 3pm Friday April 24th. That is is you feel you'd have anything to say to the Valley!!!

Out like Saturday night!!!
McQuillan

Analyzing season change...

Alright, here are the facts: I'm a little bit buzzed, I've dated some questionable women, and so have you (or men if you're gay or a girl). With that as the platform, lets move on. It's over 70 degrees here in Minneapolis, MN and it's beautiful. I've just left the grand establishment that is Stella's, where I took down 12 oysters, 1/2 pound of Louisiana shrimp, 2 Cajun chicken tacos, and 5 Blue Moon drafts. Along with that I happened to be seated next to internationally known "Polow Big". He's a hip-hop artist and he told me all about himself. He even pulled a recent Album out of his pocket, showed me the cover and read me the names of some songs (they were ill, believe me), but wouldn't give it to me. And Valley, I certainly tried to cop that CD!!! He told me a website where I could hear some of his stuff. I went and listened and it's garbage. I will give him credit for knowing who Spice 1, E-40, and Young Bleed were, but that's about it. He was nice, and pretty normal, but he asked to get his shrimp microwaved for 3 minutes and was shot down emphatically by the super-white bar tender. He hasn't quite reached Snoop Dogg status...apparently. Anyway, that's what it's like if you're rollin' with me on a Friday afternoon; great food, alcohol, and hip-hop superstars...I'm going to turn back on my Robin Thicke now...

Seeing all the lovelies out on this fine afternoon reminded me of a favorite pastime of mine. Let me share. When I was in college I ate at the cafeteria a lot. And in this cafeteria, many lovely young ladies found sustenance as well. Here in the north interesting things happen with this case study. While I continued to work out on a daily basis because I had no choice in college, many of these nice young ladies did not have to do so. But what they did do was treat themselves to the soft-serve ice cream station...in the cafeteria. An amazing thing happens over the course of a winter...fatness. And the true test is on days like today when the weather finally hits that point where is acceptable and warranted to pull out the tank tops, skirts, and sun dresses, etc. I remember seeing shorts that had no business being on, I remember seeing tank tops with the arm pit flab hanging out of the sides, and I remember seeing a lot of white skin...too much in fact. Guess what, I saw some of that today too. But I will give some props to the women of Uptown Minneapolis, they represented pretty well for the most part. I would suggest a bit more of the tanning booth, but I haven't hit that joint in a hot minute either, so I can't say much. Stay away from the ice cream, and keep hitting those crunches ladies.....so much love.

Man I love it when winter rides the heck out of town. Warmth is so great, and if you can think of some things that aren't sweet about warmth, then you're thinking too hard and not concentrating on the obvious luxuriousness of being warm and other warm things..........for example, how about when your just a little bit chilled and you're heading to the car that has been sitting in the sun all afternoon and you get in and it's toasty enough to warm you right up. Don't tell me you don't love that Valley...don't even start. Or how about when it's warm enough at the park, beach, street festival, or whatever for people to take their shirts off?? Obviously I think it's d-bag as all get out if a dude takes his shirt off on the street but otherwise, if he's good looking, I bet the ladies like it. And, I know I like it when ladies take their shirts off to reveal the bikini top on under their shirt....yeeeeahhh buddy!! don't tell me being warm isn't sweet. What about when you're a little chilled because the bedroom window is open and you get under the covers with your sweetie and do a little spooning as your eye lids set like the sun...? Well, now we're getting down right hot, so I'll back off. But I hope you get the point....cheers to warmth.

I gotta say that I also love it because the gym clears out when the weather gets nicer. A lot less of the morons in jeans and button down short sleeve linen shirts doing the bench press. Hopefully less of the foreigners who never bothered to find out how things work in the gyms here. For instance, putting the weights back on the racks when you're done using them, instead of laying them all down on the ground where people walk...idiots. Don't get me wrong, I welcome everyone from all lands to work out and make themselves healthier. Just be courteous enough to not act like a d-bag in the gym. And those jeans player?? Put on some shorts partner....But mostly, it's nice because when it gets nice outside people do things outside and it makes my workout way more efficient. I like to do things outside too, but the lifting part is an inside workout and the less population the better.

For all my city people, How much better is it eating outside on the sidewalk at particular establishments?? I'd like to take this time to tell you Chicago, how much I miss you. Chicago, don't think I left you because you were crazy and jealous, and acted ill towards me, it wasn't that, I promise. Things in life just changed so I had to roll with the punches. But Minneapolis has some places you would love too. That doesn't mean I don't miss you everyday, and especially days like today. Murphy's Bleachers, I see you and I envisioned being with you today during the Cubs game. Waterhouse, you know I miss you, one of my neighborhood's hide-outs. Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba...the escargot is singing like angels to me in my dreams!!! Minneapolis, stand up!! Stella's Oyster orgy, the rooftop in the sun with the downtown view, Drink rooftop I see your fine booty, Sneaky Pete's patio with the fire place. NYC, you didn't think you'd get a shot out did you, but I'll give a shot to all of Little Italy with the "Godfather" theme music playing, the olive oil and bread, and I can't forget the wine...I know most everyplace has their examples and there is nothing like being able to eat outside, enjoy the weather and food all at the same time....Big shots to everyone making that possible.

Last but not least; EVERYBODY better get their mock NFL drafts for the first 15 picks into me for the contest, or I'll have to quit the blog for lack of participation. This will be fun, and I promise that you may not have much to say in general with your sorry butts, but with a platform, you'll find plenty more to talk about. Just like how I know Hooper would rave about how the Denver Nuggets are such a terrible organization, or how John Elway is the best QB of all time. And I'm sure I'd have to hear from several of my Wisconsin bred folk about some lame Badger/Packer talk. But hey, I'm all gravy about it all if you can lock down the first 15 picks in this year's NFL draft...you see the email on the side of the blog, get it done.

And for a special treat I have something that may be a bit premature, but along with the theme for the day, please watch the video below and just enjoy.....



"Just a little something to break the monotony..."

Out like freezing rain
McQuillan