The Tourney...

Hey yo Valley!! before I get to the main reason for the post tonight, let me say that Valparaiso Florida represented last weekend and your boy certainly did his part. Big shot to the whole crew, I love seeing you guys and I had a blast. There's nothing so nice as drinking all day in your trunks and chilling with good people, I know you all feel me...

Now let me get into the main reason for this post and one of the most important posts in this blog's history. So, listen up.

The Knopp Valley Tournament

I. Origins
15 Years ago, on a starry night like tonight, a group of teenagers, led by Erik Ferden and Ryan Peterson, birthed an idea for the ages. We loved basketball and most of my friends and I played often for fun outside of school or organized team stuff. We often gathered to play at a court we call "Knopp, pronounced "Nop". It is an outdoor court in a park located in a housing development called Knopp Valley, in Winona, MN. It's a beautiful scene, laid perfectly in the base of one of Winona's gorgeous bluff valleys. A few individuals involved grew up in Knopp Valley, and so games have just always been played there. It was here that a 4 on 4 tournament was born consisting of childhood and school friends. The date: July 4, 1995. Our Nation's and our tournament's birthday. Not one week after the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted Kevin Garnett, and during the same month that "Clueless" and that crappy Costner movie "Waterworld" were released, and just a few short months after the Cincinnati Bengals drafted the great Ki-Jana Carter with the #1 overall pick...The Knopp Valley Tournament was born. The Tourney started out small with just 4 teams, but unlike KG, Ki-Jana Carter, or Waterworld, The Tourney stuck around, and we all thank the heavens for the grace shone upon us over the years. Not one tourney has been rained out, very few injuries have occurred and usually only minor, and great friendships and traditions have grown over the years.

II.Traditions and Format
There are captains of the 7 teams each year, and they perform a draft. The draft used to be done with everyone together but life has forced people all over and now is done via technology for the most part. There have been several captains over the years. Many remain constant but there is some shifting. The draft is done like most every one's fantasy sports drafts, in a "snake" format. Since its inception, the draft order has been kept confidential, only the captains know where people were drafted.

Somewhere during this stretch of 1.5 decades a golf tournament got started. Whoever wants to play or can make it get together and hit the links. Then the entire group, or almost all, meet at a local restaurant, recently it has been Ed Sullivan's in Trempeleau, WI. There we gather from all over the country: Arizona, Wisconsin, Oregon, Colorado, Minnesota, and in recent years Illinois or Florida. There we give daps, hugs, and plenty of mean mugs to our teammates, our opponents, and our family...

Gameday starts at 8am...well, kinda. We hope that people show up by then so we can get started. We all throw in our money, and we take a look at the tournament bracket. A bracket that is beautifully crafted by a local YMCA employee, supporter, and friend of The Tourney, Daryl Anderson. It is a round robin format for the first round so each team plays 6 games. Then we rest for a bit and begin the seeded, double elimination tournament. The Tournament lasts all day long, and is usually done by around 5-6 o'clock. And as someone who has come up from the losers bracket and played the most games possible, it is one hell of a tough day. One thing that makes it easier on everybody is the tradition of playing loud hip hop music all day long. The good stuff too, not this Flo-rida crap, no Souldia Boy (or however you spell that nonsense), We're talking the good stuff...Outkast, Biggie, Jay-Z, Tupac, E-40, Spice 1, Mobb Deep, Wu-Tang Clan, Lil Wayne, EPMD, Beastie Boys....wow soory, I just feel like going on forever. But it is great that this tradition has never stopped and I hope it won't because the music is part of what makes this day ours

After The Tourney is the "Afterparty". We have gathered at different places for food and drinks over the years and this is usually the beginning of a fantastic night and the right way to end a great day and tradition...laughing and enjoying family members.

III. The People
We are all competitive individuals, some extraordinarily so. Our family is made up of high school all-conference and all-state athletes, college all-conference and all-american athletes, and avid hoopers who love to play and have been around The Tournament since forever. Many of us are 30 years old and over, but most are still in their 20's. There is one player who was 7 years old when this tournament started. The Knopp Vally Family is diverse as any group of 35-40 people, but we are close in that we all hold something dear to us, and respect each individual immensely for their contributions to this great tradition. The crowd has grown from about 0, to now more than 50 people regularly stop by, and probably many more. Lot's of parents, girlfriends, friends, and basketball fans, spend the day in the sun watching great basketball. I'm sure lots of the parents aren't happy about all the swear words over the years, so let me take this opportunity to apologize for my part in that...but hey, it's The Tourney!!

From the bottom of my heart, and I'm sure many echo this, I wouldn't be in Winona for the 4th of July if it wasn't for this tournament. Seeing these guys, makes it one of the most fun weekends of the year. I wouldn't trade it, I wouldn't change it, and I wouldn't want it to include anyone other than all the people who have participated and made this day and event so great over these 15 years. And for my Knopp Valley Family, be ready to get it on in a couple days, because I'm coming for every one of you!!! Love you guys, see you soon....

Out like Koehler...RIP homey
McQuillan.

So Hot

Valley, I apologize for my absence, but I'm sure you understand how life goes. I've been pretty busy, in and out of town, and working. At any rate, I would like to give a big shot out to Twins fans for their showing at Wrigley field and out on the town in Chicago a couple weekends ago. It was a phenomenal turn out, and by far the craziest opposing crowd I've ever seen at Wrigley. Minnesota, representing!!!

Today it is going to be mid 90's here in the Twin Cities metro area. It is definitely no joke out there. I love it though, I like it hot. But sometimes I use the word hot in a sarcastic tone, you'll have to figure out in just what way I'm using it throughout this post. Here's my first example of something hot.

So, at this very second, I'm home from Park Nicollet Clinic for about 30 minutes before I have to go back. The reason is super hot, check it out. My left ear has never been flushed and it is totally blocked with ear wax, terrible. So you go in and get this irrigation thing done where they water blast your ear until all the gunk comes out. Well, after an hour of blasting the mission was not accomplished. They put some drops in and said to come back in an hour for more blasting. So hot.
I will have to leave before I post this, so I will make sure to inform you how round 2 goes.

I'm going to Florida this weekend for a big family party down near Destin, FL. It is going to be upper 90's there, hot no doubt. I always have a great time down there and I get to see my sister and the fam. Also, my sister and I are making a video to apply for the Amazing Race TV show. Should be a pretty fun and funny video, obviously I'll let you know if you need to tune into the show later on. Another hot part of this trip is my former teammate at FSU and my best friend in Tallahassee is going to meet me there. I haven't seen Rian in 8 years, so I'm pretty stoked to mix it up with the big teddy bear, big shot cuz-o!!

Phone contracts are not hot...not even close.

This is super hot...please watch for the tambourine guy, so hot



Hot love baby, hot love.

I'm now leaving to go back to the clinic, should be a pretty hot trip, talk to you soon...And I'm back, less than an hour later with a brand new clean ear!!!! Man is being able to hear again HOT HOT HOT!! What an ordeal...there is a lesson in here people: keep your ears washed out more than once every 30 years. Don't use cue tips, they are pointless for cleaning the inner ear, make sure to wash them out in the shower, your welcome for the hot advice.

How hot was the US Open that just finished a couple hours ago??? Not at all is the right answer. It was rainy, windy and not one bit nice out there on Long Island. Great tournament though if you're into watching golfers literally fight the course. Most everyone knows how difficult golf is to play in general, but Bethpage Black is another monster altogether. And, this week you could just tell how hard those guys battled the elements along with the course. Nice to see David Duval back in the thick of things and too bad Phil had another let down at the US Open.

You know who's hot? Megan Fox is hot. Lots of people have a "top 5" list of their hottest celebs or people, and I'm no different. Currently, Megan Fox has the #1 spot by the largest margin in the history of my top 5 list. I mean I can't even explain how hot I think she is. That Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her forearm??? So Hot! I mean, Eva Mendes is smoking hot, and she's getting blown away right now. And we all get to go see Miss Fox on the big screen starting this Wednesday when Transformers 2 is out, if you're excited raise you hand!! And if you're not then please click on THIS Now, if you're not on the same page as I am then I say something tragic must have happened in your childhood, because that is just HOT!! And the same goes for you too ladies, you know you think she's hot too...cold shower, be right back...

And now, enjoy some of the Legend, Joe Crocker:

"Hot town summer in the city
back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
I been down isn't it a pity
doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
all around people looking half dead
walking on the sidewalk hotter than a match-head
But at night it's a different world
go out and find a girl
come on come on and dance all night
despite the heat it will be alright
and babe don't you know it's a pity
the days can't be like the night
in the summer in the city
in the summer in the city"

Out like my broke ass ear wax
McQuillan

RIP The Wire

Valley, quick post here. First let me say that we have an exciting week of stuff coming at you, but I want to take the time to pour out a little Jameson for a great series I just finished recently called The Wire. If you haven't seen this, I recommend it as one of the best cop/gang/politics shows I've ever seen. It was on HBO so you know it was done right. One of my favorite parts of the whole show is when a cop dies, they have a "wake" at their favorite bar and Someone performs the Eulogy and then a song is sang by everyone. It's by The Pogues, and it's an Irish anthem that deserves some props. So, without further ado, enjoy a great tune as Americans and allow me to pay some respect to The Wire....



..."I'm a free born man of the USA, I'm a free born man of the USA, I'm a free born man of the U..S..A!!!!"

Out like Jimmy McNulty
McQuillan

Learning made fun! (moms would be so proud)

So, Memorial day weekend has come and gone. I hope the Valley has some great stories and got a lot of R&R (That's rest and relaxation for you Wisconsin born chumps!!) My plate was so full I don't even remember what I did on Saturday...what a weekend. Big shot out to Stro for taking his brother to a fun wedding, congrats Nate and Molly!! Big shot out to the Beckmans and our Prior Lake boat crew from yesterday, lots of fun. Crazy thing from yesterday was that 6 people went to dinner and 5 of us ordered a 1 lb. cheeseburger and finished it all!! I bet that hasn't happened there too much before. Good stuff. Now I'm going to share with you some things I learned this weekend, that should be entertaining for all.

LET ME LEARNS YOU ONTO SUMPIN......
If you quit trying to learn new things, you might as well quit life. There are always things to be learned, whether it be self help tips, academic knowledge, or just fun and interesting life lessons. If you're not paying attention for this stuff, I feel sorry for you, because it is everywhere. here are some examples from just the past couple days:







That is called Wake Surfing, I learned about it yesterday and told my buddy Logan that I did not believe what he was saying. So, naturally I go to youtube to see it with my own eyes. He was right, I was wrong...first time for everything I guess!! Basically you get behind a boat, with an artificially large wake on one side. This wake can be produced by weighing down one side of the boat so to tip it a little. then you use a rope to help get you started but once you're up and going you can just throw the rope in the boat and freaking surf on the wake!! And as you can tell the Wake pulls you right along. I think this is very cool and looks fun. I promise you that when the water here in MN gets above 70 degrees I will be trying this. Surfs up dudes!!!

I got a buddy going into the Army, and he's almost 30 years old. He's got a college degree, and has made the decision that he wants to serve. I'm proud of him and wish him luck. And as Memorial day weekend passes I wish to give thanks to all that serve in any capacity. Thank you. And on top of that I learned something about the process. Now, if you were to come out of high school or without a college degree of any kind, you enlist and you sign a contract that puts you in for a certain # of years. Basically, your booty is owned by the United States Government. Some would argue they own us anyway, but that's another blog post altogether, one we will probably never get to. Anyway, my buddy is going to go through boot camp as would anyone else, but then go to officer training school because of the college degree. Once he is commissioned as an officer he will be given rank as a Lieutenant, and will be free of his contractual obligations. At that point he is in for as long as he wants to be and hopefully will take advantage of the great training, put in his 20 years and retire with a nice pension and experience to do something else at age 50. I think this is cool to know for anyone thinking about making a change this serious. Well done my brother and god speed. oh and just for fun, check this gem out...Aaaaarmy training sir!!!!!



Oh what the heck, watch this one too....haha



Some other things I learned this weekend are as follows. If you look good, I mean if you really dress right gentlemen, women WILL and DO notice that. Make sure to take that into account next time you put on an outfit for a certain occasion.

BCBG continues to make hot women's shoes. go out and cop you some of those ladies...

Rap music at weddings really gets the party going, end of story.

When boating, it's important to remember that not everyone on the lake/river/ocean is going to look good in their bathing suits, understanding this is vital to enjoying your day. There should be surprises when troll up behind another boat and notice large objects in your rear view......feel me?

If you're going to eat a 1 lb. burger, just enjoy the moment. Don't worry about what the next morning in the bathroom might be like. Don't dwell on the number of calories you are taking in, because I promise you they will either be digested or disposed of otherwsie.

"...However, living better now Gucci sweater now, drop top BM's I'm the man girlfriend...Honey check it, tell your friends to get with my friends, and we can be friends...shoot we can do this every weekend, is that aight with you?? yeah...keep banging Valley!!!!"

Something I just cannot believe

Okay, I couldn't possibly wait on this after laughing at this on TV for about 5 minutes. I know we talk a lot about sports here, and we like to point out ridiculous and funny things...well Valley, I've got it all wrapped into a couple very funny videos. First I will say a couple things in honor of this absolutely unbelievable athletic movement.

Yours and my favorite Charles....Charles Barkley has a bit of an issue when it comes to his golf swing. Well, Chuck has issues when it comes to drinking and gambling as well, but we will focus on his golf swing. For one, I can't believe this footage. This was an amazing athlete in his prime. Charles Barkley was a prototype power forward, and one of the greatest basketball players of all time. How on earth can he not improve on this seizure of a golf swing?? I love Chuck, he is my favorite basketball analyst next to Gus Johnson and the late great Al McGuire. Let us not confuse that with the fact that I DO NOT love his golf swing.....well actually, I kinda do. What I just cannot believe is that he doesn't improve this train wreck of a swing. You don't have to know anything about golf to know that this is simply unacceptable. But, with that said, It is great to watch. Please watch and laugh out loud at our favorite "Round Mound of Rebound"







I just couldn't pass on sharing this with you guys, wow is that stuff awesome.

Out like Chuck's lower back...
McQuillan

Good Gracious...

VALLEY!!!!!!!!! Man, I have to apologize for the disaster that is my technical situation. Getting this computer fixed was like getting an abortion on the alter of a Catholic church, seriously. My Uncle finally got it cleared up and loaded up with all the stuff it needs to actually work...for that I'm thankful. For it being free of charge, I'm extremely thankful. But anyway, let us get back to business of having some fun talking about cool stuff, and ripping on people who suck!!!!

The Roses
So, I put a little money on the Kentucky Derby as I said I would. I bet $5 on 4 different horses to win, and one of them was a 50-1 long shot ridden by the same jockey who rode Street Sense in the 2007 Derby, which I attended and won money at. This horse, Mine That Bird, won the Derby and paid me $250 on a $5 bet....Oh what a happy day. This leads me to my next thought, and that is about this Saturday's Preakness. Mine That Bird's jockey, Calvin Borel, has jumped off his Derby winning Colt to ride the Philly, Rachel Alexandra, in the Preakness. Rachel Alexandra is regarded as the best 3 year old out there period, and Calvin rode her to an impressive victory in the Kentucky Oaks (the race for Phillies the night before the derby). It's hard for me to blame him for riding the better horse, but he is the only person capable of winning the Triple Crown this year and I think it stinks he's not going to be able to ride it out with Mine That Bird. He is the only reason I bet on that horse in the Derby, and now I feel I need to bet on Mine That Bird again because he treated me so kindly a couple weeks ago...but without the jockey who rode him. Bummer. Looks like I'll be mixing up a little strategy at the race track on Saturday. Another bonus is that Cantebury Downs has live racing all day leading up to the Preakness, should be an exciting day, so if you're in the Minneapolis area swing out for a day at the races!

Memory Lane
Recently I had an authentic burrito from a cute little Mexican joint down the street from my place. It was the first "non-chain" burrito I've eaten since I moved back from Chicago. I never thought eating a burrito would be such an emotional experience. It shot me back to the days when I moved up to Chicago and got a place in the city with my boy Jesse. We would get burritos on a regular basis in our neighborhood. Otherwise we were ordering from this place called "Clown Pizza" and it was awesome. A little clown came to your door to deliver the pizza and everything....okay we just told everyone that, but It would be sweet huh??? Summer is coming and I miss Chicago a lot right now. I love it here in Minny too, but it's kind of like having a girlfriend, who you love, but missing an ex every so often. Or for a better example it's like when a girl has an ex and even though she's dated and been dating she still gets jealous or pissy when someone else, especially a friend, dates the old boyfriend. I still get pissy when I know the weather is nice and the Cubs are at home and I can't head down to Murphy's for some sight seeing and Bud Light cans...But I will be heading back in about a month for the Cubs/Twins series and I will just have to get my fix then...and I will!!! I might even get a burrito in between those Bud Lights. I know I've mentioned Chicago often, but I love that place, and if you get a chance to visit in the summer, definitely do it. It is a great city.

Brett Favre
And he's coming back again, or not, but wait, if he's healthy maybe.....Come on man!!!!!!!! This story is a journalist's heaven, it never ends. And now he's rumored to be heading to our very own Minnesota Vikings. I'm not even going to get into all the peripheral hoopla that everyone else, ESPECIALLY ESPN, likes to get into, but I will put in my opinion. It will be a hard opinion for you all to argue, since I'm always right. The question to me is simple. Is Brett Favre better than what is currently on the Viking's roster? I believe the answer is yes. The familiarity with our offense and offensive coaches is a big plus as well. Am I really excited about the possibility f Brett Favre coming to may favorite team? No. I think the word is "Indifferent". If he's healthy, and wants to be a good teammate and win ball games, then I'm all for it. I can't think of a better scenario than watching a Viking Superbowl with a Packer fan having to watch and suffer through that. Not to mention, that if they were to win a Super Bowl, it would be the same amount he won for the Packers. I'm not saying that's going to happen, but it would be awesome if it did and totally worth all the garbage that will be surrounding this story all year long or until it's dead...for now. Overall, if it doesn't happen, I'm not too bent out of shape. I just marvel at the ability one guy has at keeping the media at this high a fever pitch year after year. It is a skill. Granted it's a skill rooted in the need for attention, but a skill none the less. I mean ESPN has Rachel Nichols down in Hattiesburg, MS at a high school football practice that Brett Favre wasn't even attending!! That is funny stuff. I'm sure there will be more to come on this story...but I had to mention it at least or risk not "keeping up with the media Jones's".

Randomness
A couple weeks ago the University of Minnesota had it's spring football game at the University or St. Thomas' football field. I currently coach at St. Thomas and was aware of this. Our head coach told everyone that they can stick around and watch the game if they'd like and one of our players for about a week was assuming that he was suiting up and actually playing against the Gopher football team. I'm not sure how he worked to this conclusion but we all had a pretty big laugh about it. People never cease to amaze me...but that's a good thing.

I'm going to Canada in 10 days so if anyone has any knowledge of Winnipeg, let me know of something cool to do. I won't have too much time, but I'd like to check out a good place to eat or something...holler at me.

Advice: If you're turning right and you know someone is behind you and you have the option to pull over into the right turn lane or the shoulder before making your turn, DO IT!!!!! You know you have to slow down to make the turn, if there is room to get over to the right, get over there and allow the people behind you to continue travelling. Man people really stink at life and driving!!!

The NBA Playoffs have been crazy to watch this year. I don't really watch the NBA much during the regular season because it's boring as heck, other than a few players, but it has been fun to watch. Lots of hard fouls, and Lebron James whipping butt. I know Hooper wants me to give a shot out to the Nuggets for throwing down, so I will. I really like their chances against LA with the way each of those teams are playing right now. Good luck to your Nugs Hoop, and for everyone who was in the kitchen at the Brown House that fateful night of Hooper and his box wine, we all know how much he LOVES his Nuggets....hahaha. I really do hope however, that we get to see Kobe and Lebron in the finals. That would be fun to watch...like on the "Super duper" level.

So I hear that Republicans are all in a tiff about Wanda Sykes cracking jokes about Rush Limbaugh's kidneys failing. Hey tight wads, it's a joke!! I joke about idiots all the time and Rush spends his entire life offending people, gimme a break. I even tell my friends to go kill themselves sometimes. Like if Jokela makes fun of me or burns me, I will tell him to go eat some Anthrax. It's funny to joke about people dying or getting hurt. Not sure why, but it is. Nobody really means the stuff literally (usually) and people always laugh...which is the Idea of jokes, i promise. Also, Wanda Sykes is a comedian, she makes jokes for a living. Man, people need to chill out.

Ladies, remember now that it's starting to get really nice outside, we (straight men) expect cute clothes, no "muffin tops" but some skin is acceptable, willingness to converse if approached respectfully, not too much make-up but some to accentuate, no janky teeth and no janky breath. Thank you very much and I can't wait to see you.

Quick News
We do have a winner for the first annual KValley Report NFL Draft Pick'em. It was a victory by the slimest of margins, but Chris Lisitza was the winner and we will be expecting some great insight on a topic of his choosing soon. Congrats Chris!!! Valley, I'll be seeing you soon, I promise!!

"I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together...Valley I'm good all by myself, but you make me better, you make me better....together we burn it up...."

Out like Ricky Hatton in the 2nd....
McQuillan

Technical difficulties...

Valley, I apologize for the lack of knowledge recently. Sometimes computers die and people are lucky enough to have an uncle who can repair and reload but it takes a little while....this is that sometime. Not much I can do but today i am currently at "Tha Dogg's" spot for a bit and was able to sent a quick note letting everyone know that i hope to be back up online early next week. Until then you'll have to do with a few quick things that have made the last week great great great.

I turned 30...had a party...a thousand people showed up to give me love and I have the best friends in the world and I feel pretty.....Thanks goes out to anyone in the Valley who showed up and made it the best birthday party I've ever had. I got some scotch for presents...which is nice. But most of all, the best present was the great night with great people. And for those that have read some previous posts, you know how the Valley gets down..."And they ain't leavin' til 6 in the morning!!!" But seriously, big shot out to all my people. What a great weekend...love you guys (and gals, of course).

If you're not watching this Bulls/Celtics series, yo momma brought you up wrong. It is the best series I can remember watching since maybe the old Bulls/Knicks series'. Hero shots galore, cheap shots a plenty, and just awesome athletes doing awesome things. Game 7 tomorrow night, watch it.

I'm excited for the Kentucky Derby tomorrow, is anyone else???? Well, if you haven't done your scouting yet but plan on putting down some cash, take my pick into account...Dunkirk. He's trained by Todd Pletcher and Pletcher is a training legend. He has entered 24 horses in the Kentucky Derby and won exactly 0 times. He's due, and the horse is a sick looking charcoal gray color, my favorite. Which means, that he'll win...obviously. If you've not actually been to a Derby before, you need to make a trip sometime, it is an amazing day at a great venue, Churchill Downs. "And there off!!"

I also want to let the Valley know that we will have a NFL Draft Pick'em Champion by the next post, and an exciting entry by the champion will be forthcoming. Again, I apologize for the technical difficulties, but will be back on the attack soon enough. Any complaints can go right to the email address over on the right....but on that note I have some great lyrics to calm the ravenous KValley Report readers.............

"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you I'm still alright to smile. Girl, I think about you every day now. Was a time when I wasn't sure but you set my mind at ease. There is no doubt you're in my heart now...just a little patience, yeeaaahh, some more patience, yeeaaahhh........"

Out like the Spurs' old, boring butts
McQuillan