The Devils Playground...

Many of you are already laughing out loud. If not there is, most surely, a devilish grin stamped across your grill. And if you're completely confused, you're now probably smiling because you're wondering what in the Lord's Prayer (Good Friday reference) I'm talking about. Well, I'm talking about the the legend of Winona, Minnesota. This goes far beyond the legends of Princess Wenonah, Paul Giel, Slapshot, or Fastenal. This is about about a town and the supernatural power it has to get you so completely bomb-faced that you think it the right thing to drive home and across parks on your way. It's about stories like getting released from the hospital after getting your stomach pumped and heading to the bar. Try to comprehend, if you will, being so drunk that you feel the need to launch real glasses across the bar...for fun. This isn't the Double-Deuce I'm talking about and there's no Patrick Swayze in this story (unfortunately). Over the years, the phrase has been coined and acknowledged by many. It is the first thing that pops into my head when I know I'm going back to Winona a.k.a The Devils Playground.

Country Road...Take Me Home.
Tomorrow I am heading back to Winona. I am nervous yet optimistic that I won't have a hangover Sunday, so bad I can't walk to the car with both eyes open. I am going to surprise a good friend, so I hope he isn't going to read this. Those moments are usually filled with joy, borderline homosexual hugs/dances, and Irish Car Bombs. I'm hoping to avoid the last one on that list. For those of you who don't know that much about Winona, I'm shocked but thrilled you're reading this, and you should definitely visit if you're an alcoholic. But, it's a great college town, gorgeous in the summer and fall with the bluffs and natural scenery, and FILLED with bars. Lots of churches too, but plenty of places to get a bloody mary after mass, pardon the pun on Easter weekend...One time I went to a church service at a church within the city limits with a good friend of mine and his mother. The Priest came out so blasted that he forgot the "Good Book", forgot the Lord's Prayer, and had to go retrieve the book out of the...bar in the back of the church...I guess. It was very funny for me, not so funny for the adults in attendance. My point is, drinking is going to happen when you go to Winona. BUT, there are other pieces of heaven mixed in and around the Devil and his playground...

Rocco's Pizza
If you're not salivating already, you're mother brought you up wrong. This is arguably the best thin crust pizza on the planet. All due respect to Chicago and NYC, because I love both of you and your pizza a lot, and since i lived in Chicago for some years, i am well schooled on this subject. Rocco's is a beast in the world of pizza. Albeit a hidden beast since there are only 2 of them. (Obviously there are other Rocco's but not of this chain)One is about a 10 x 10 foot shack of loveliness stuck in the corner of the Athletic Club (another gem of The Devil's Playground), and the other is it's own establishment on the west side of town, basically in the middle of nowhere. And that place used to have Excite Bike the arcade version...which is one of the best arcade games in the history of earth. Okay, back to the Pizza. It is so good that burning your mouth is expected and not a factor. It's so good that if you drip sauce on your white shirt you don't care because of how good your soul feels after the bite. It's so gosh darn tasty that the last time I went to Winona, my friend and I thought we were going to get it for dinner with all our people but the plans changed and Dan and I were stark raving mad for about 45 minutes...on Christmas!!!! Another great thing about the legend of Rocco's is how it finds it's lovers all over. I used to live in Chicago, and a good buddy got me and a friend from Winona, Stadium Club seats for a White Sox game. We were treated like royalty and the General Manager of the Stadium Club came to chat with us...oh guess what...he's from Winona and his family owns Rocco's Pizza!!!!! Big shot out to Bill Barth and family! Of course the tap beers at Rocco's is like $2 or less, leading you to believe that you should then drink a lot more because...well...you just have all that left over money. Darn Devil!!!

Acoustic Cafe
About the only place in town you can't find a beer in, but there is no shortage of body piercings, dreadlocks, and really kick butt soups and sandwiches. It's hard to explain why this place is better than most, but it has to do with the way they warm the sandwiches right before they serve you. And, it also has to do with this pepper sauce they put on as well, it's just really darn tasty. A lot of "Earth Generals" wandering around this establishment and it helps to keep people sober and in line. This is a place the "Playground" has not yet tainted, and quite frankly, I'd like to keep it that way. Not sure if I'll make it here on my trip back this weekend, but if I can fit it in, I will. Long live Acoustic.

Gabby's
While Gabby's is a bar, and certainly a booster for the Devil and his playground, I have to say it's still a piece of heaven for me. I see everyone I need to when I go back to Winona, at Gabby's. Old friends everywhere both from my growing up days and from my college days. And, I love that. Can I get 2 Captain-Cokes for $2 there? Yes I can. Do the owners walk around and pass out free drink chips while I'm there, increasing the level of inebriation? Yes they do. Have I done some things in the bathroom I may not have done sober? Yes I have. But, forget all that, I heard a great saying on season 3 of "The Wire" yesterday, "Do you know what they call all of the stuff that happens between the moments you dream to have happen? Life." It's true, life isn't easy, and we often hope for a lot more than comes our way. But to me, life is about people. My life is about the people who have blessed it, whether it be once or several times. Gabby's is a place where a lot of people get together that I don't often see, and is always full of great moments. Granted, I don't always remember them, but the point is that they happen. Or, at least someone says they happen, even though they were crunk the night before too and may not remember either. But you just have to know that's only the Devil playing with your mind. If you think it happened, it did. And if it happened and you can't remember it, it doesn't count. Believe that.

Epilogue
In closing, I'd like to give honorable mentions to many places that are part of the jungle gym that is the Devil's playground: Bub's (Cajun chicken and the #1 rule!), RIP Fitzgeralds/Chuckers (could do a whole blog on that place alone), Betty Jo's, Godfathers Pizza buffet, the Pimp Barn, Poot's Sports Palace, Brown house, Schniepps, Peach Pit, West Sanborn St.........Stand up!

As it's only fitting...
I hear her voice in the mornin' hour she calls me. The radio reminds me of my home far away, and drivin' down the road I get a feelin' that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday... Country roads, take me home to the place I belong, Wi-nona, mountain momma take me home, country roads..."

Out like the Devil will be tomorrow night...
Mcquillan

-Anything I forgot about Winona you'd like to remind me about? let me know at kvalleyreport@gmail.com