The Valley...and the other looming V.

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome all six of you to "The KValley Report". You won't regret it, and if for some fart-knuckle reason you do, just wait until you see the "Truman" video before making a final decision. For real, I'm happy to be here and I look forward to lots of fun, plenty of knowledge being dropped, and random nonsense a-plenty.



First, if you wondering why the name looks funny and hard to pronounce, let me help you. It's the KValley Report, pronounced "Valley Report". Yes, the K is silent, let me explain. My best friends and I have been hanging out and playing basketball in this small area of a small town called Knopp Valley, pronounced "Nop Valley" a few of us grew up there and we all used to just go and play some ball at the park. Those are the basic origins. There is plenty more and we'll cover that at a later date. I was raised by two families, my immediate and my Knopp Valley families. Most of what you read here is a product of many amazing people from both those families, lots you'll get to know and some you won't cuz they're skinny and afraid. But, I digress. We are comprised of different political views, different shapes and sizes, different favorite Sopranos characters, and lots of the same ex-girlfriends. It's safe to say, we run things in an underground sort of fashion. I mean, it's not like we make real decisions about stuff or lobby for any office, but we run it, ya dig?? And on that note, I'll talk about a pressing subject, one that will resonate with each and every one of you...



Valentine's Day
Now, the state of the economy is bad, and for some it's terrible. I currently work in a bankruptcy law firm, and I can tell you first hand that it's ugly out there. I'm talking about no jobs, 3 kids, selling tools and giving plasma ugly. But, these women still want their jewelry and candy don't they. Or even if they don't, Jared, Kay, and Zales is sure making them out to be some gold diggers anyway and I'm sick of it. I know there are some ladies out there that hate Valentine's day too, I hear you, and I want to start a movement. I have a dream today........Okay sorry, I get emotional at times. I just think it's garbage. I know it's a corporate holiday, totally schemed by the Hallmark's of the world, and it's their fault. NO!! Don't fall for that crap people. It's just another day in the middle of the most miserable winter month north of the Mason-Dixon line. But here's the kicker, gentlemen. Even if your sweetie agrees with you and puts down V-day, you know darn well that if you don't do anything you're booty is in TROU-BLE. It's a lose-lose situation. And I don't even want to hear about getting some action makes it all worth it. Two reasons; this is a family blog (i think), AND you pay for hookers too. (Swallow all of that last sentence first before moving on please) Okay. Basically, I'm saying that it's like staying in Vietnam, you're not winning and you're not going to win. Valentines day is here to stay, as horrible is that is, it's the truth.



Solution
I'm all about equality, big advocate here. Civil rights, Title IX, Bowl Championship Series (cough), and even letting the NHL be on TV again. So, I have a proposal. Valentine's Day stays put and another holiday is instituted called "Take your boyfriend to a sporting event he wants to go to...Day" What? You think that's a bit long and doesn't have the same ring as Valentine's Day? Well, abbreviate it however you want, you get the point. I don't care if we have to wear pink and hearts to the game, you won't have one problem getting me and every self respecting man I know to the game. Now, i have a feeling people may be smiling at this point thinking I'm crazy. Well, perhaps, but that's for a Dr. to decide, and my Dr.'s not available because HE'S AT THE GAME!!! I'm dead serious. I want t-shirts, billboards, video ads above the urinals at the bars, talking about "TYBTASEHWTGT" Day. I mean ladies, do you know that we would do whatever you wanted for like two weeks on either side of this holiday if it existed? Whatever, I know that no ladies are reading this, I'm just saying. I think this is fair, I am a fair person, and darn it we want a day we get excited about too. That's about all I have to say about it, but I'm hoping that my idea catches on some and we can build some momentum. If not, that's junk, and I wish everyone a happy Valentines Day, and I hope you're thinking about how kick butt "TYBTASEHWTGT" Day would be if it existed. Seriously, dugout seats at Wrigley, bars and beers everywhere you turn, and...alright I'm done, but think about it, seriously. Anyway, I meant to put some Valentines pics up, but I haven't figured out how to work this thing yet, so I'm sorry. I'm blowing kisses to everyone...I promise.

P.S.

Now, I'll leave you with what I feel will be a staple of this blog and should be a staple of everyone's lives, great lyrics from music that shapes who we are and how we live.

In the Valentine's Spirit.....


"Approach you women with a passion, it's been a long day, but I've been driven by attraction in a strong way. You're body is banging baby, I love it when you flaunt it, time to give it to daddy baby now tell me how you want it." ~Tupac Shakur


Out like A-rod's little secret,

Mcquillan